Have your thoughts on family size changed?

Now that my daughter is a year old, I thought I’d feel ready to have another baby. But I almost feel the opposite: motherhood is so much harder than I expected it and even with mental health help I don’t feel like I’m coping well. My husband has said he’s sad we may never have another because he doesn’t think I’m mentally strong enough. We always wanted three but I feel like I’d be doing my daughter a disservice by having another. I don’t know how she’d feel, if she’d feel pushed aside or like we didn’t care about her anymore. I don’t know if she’d get along with a sibling. I don’t know how I could split my attention between two. I don’t want to compare them. I don’t want to resent them. I was an only child and I live far away from my parents. I don’t want my daughter to be lonely and I also don’t want all the pressure of caring for us as elderly people to fall on her when she’s an adult. I don’t know what it’s like to have siblings and had a great childhood with friends and spending time by myself. My husband has a brother and feels that it’s beneficial for kids to have siblings. It took me awhile to get pregnant so I feel like I need to make a decision now. But at the moment I don’t know how anyone has more than one kid. I’m just not enjoying the chaos like I thought I would. More often than not I just want to have a predictable life again. It sounds horrible but motherhood doesn’t feel “worth it” to me yet. I’m just so anxious and depressed and although I’m getting help it doesn’t seem to be enough yet. Maybe I’m just not a baby person and I’m looking forward to getting to know my daughter more as she gets older. I’m just worried she’ll be mentally ill like me and that I won’t be a good mum to her.