Confession

I am 39 weeks pregnant, ready for this baby to come! I also have a 2 year old. I've always wanted a lot of children. But this pregnancy has made me rethink everything and I feel like this will be my last and final pregnancy. Mostly contributed to the amount of stress I've had to deal with from dealing with in-laws emotional reactions to dealing with my husbands emotional needs as well. Pregnancy I can do, everyone's emotional needs is something I can not deal with when pregnant. I'm going through a lot physically, mentally, emotionally, hormonally that I don't have much control over and it's felt like no one understands. My husband also spreads himself thin and can't keep up, I feel like I'm constantly being asked to make decisions then I'm resented because I make all the decisions... Hes very forgetful and can be negligent at times. He's glued to his phone and misses just about everything I say making me repeat myself 2-3 times which is exhausting. He's also had a pretty short temper this entire pregnancy and is just not as attentive to me or my pregnancy journey as I would like. As much as I want more babies I don't know if our marriage can handle another child. It makes me sad that I feel like I can't have another child specifically with my husband and the way things have been. I've often stopped and felt guilty this entire pregnancy for wanting baby number 2. Deciding on baby 2 felt right at the time but as this pregnancy has progressed and feeling like I have a lack of support from my husband, I feel guilty about having a kid enter into this dynamic and I'm barely hanging on.

Show your support

I also stopped at 2, for a variety of reasons but one factor definitely being that my husband is really fucking unsupportive in pregnancy. 2 is the perfect number 😍 once they're old enough to play together, your heart will melt and also most likely you'll feel your family is complete. It's hard enough juggling the needs of two children, I can't imagine trying to do 3. Also I was 1 of 3 and definitely do not recommend it.

I hear you - I was pretty disappointed with how I was treated and the expectations people had of me during my second pregnancy… it certainly wasn’t anything like the first, almost like the sheen had worn off and nobody cared the second time round! So I get why you’re feeling this way. However, this feels like unnecessary anxiety right now! Maybe just focus on getting number 2 into the world and worry about if there’ll be a number 3 later! You don’t need an answer to this question yet and it might be causing you more stress than it’s worth. All the best for the birth of your new baby and your transformation into a mother of 2!

I feel like I could have written this myself. Also pregnant with my second and have a 2 year old, but I think this will also be my final pregnancy. My husband is not very supportive with pregnancy issues and he struggles with most baby things (my first was exclusively breast fed so he had problems connecting with her, she never wanted to be held by him). I feel like being pregnant the second time round is very different than the first. It’s like no one cares, there’s no excitement, you’re just expected to deal. I struggle to deal with my husbands emotional needs as well as keep up with a toddler and grow a baby. Our in laws also live with us and I really can’t handle it all even on a good day. I know we wouldn’t be able to handle more than 2, Im even wondering if we can handle 2 given how things are going at the moment. But I think you can only decide whether you want more after you’ve had your second and are settled as a family again, so don’t jump the gun just yet 🤷‍♀️

I’m sorry it’s been such a struggle dealing with everyone else. Try to focus on getting through this pregnancy before thinking about number 3. Once baby is here and things hopefully settle down, you can evaluate how you might proceed in the future and what changes within the family and relationship can be made. Just as a place to start, my husband can get quite into his phone and is often doing multiple things at once and I too get so irritated having to repeat myself. Now when I realise his attention is split I just stop talking or outright ask him to stop what he’s doing and listen to me for a minute. It can still be a bit frustrating but I’m not wasting my breath as much and I know that he has heard me.

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌