Help! What to do when your child doesn’t want to listen

redirecting your child’s behavior is heavily emphasized in behavioral therapy. words like “no thank you” and leading them to a different activity tends to work wonders. as far as regulating their emotions, that can be hard for a child that doesn’t understand them. creating a safe space for them, hugs, lots of love. if you’re frustrated it’s better to put her in a safe spot and take a breather and come back when you’re ready to redirect. i hope this helps, we are all in the trenches of motherhood together girl! 🫂🩷

You never have to yell at your child. Talk to her like you want to be talked to. Explain everything. Teach her. You may think she doesn't understand, but she understands more than you think. I'm also curious about what specifically she is doing that she's not supposed to do?

i agree with @Alyssa for sure. also, I was big on asking them once or twice, then counting to 3, and after 3, removing them from whatever they're doing that I don't want them to do. he'd usually have a fit, but I would let him have his fit and once he was done, I'd engage positively and we'd find something to do together.

@Kaleesha I call her my Stitch baby because she likes to destroy everything in her path. She likes to rip things, hit/bang things, she has a little bucket full of little pretend people that she likes to throw in any room of the house, she likes to write on walls. She likes to open the door to let the dogs in after I told her not to. The other day we were at the park and she took off running from me and I had to run to catch up with her and I kept yelling for her to stop because she was entering an old bridge. I told her we were going home and she kept telling me no. I’ve tried all the tactics of the gentle parenting and she will scream or yell over me trying to explain. She doesn’t care, she just wants what she wants and wants it now. She’s an amazing kid! She brightens up my day for the most part but these little hiccups are so hard for me to overcome. I just don’t know what to do other than get upset.

@charlie thank you!! I’ve been looking for podcasts or YouTube vids to watch and I haven’t found anything. I’ll definitely look into this

I will ask my son if he can do something or if he needs help. Sometimes give diferant options of how to do it or let him wait until later. Sometimes give incentives. But when he's really just not listening at all and getting grumpy and I notice I'm starting to raise my voice we do quiet time where we take a brake and he sits in bed with a special toy or watches the tablet in his room by himself and just reset for a few minutes.

I totally get how the not listening is challenging. When my 2 year old ignores me I find it really triggering 😂 however, the thing with the “bad” behaviour you need to reframe. They aren’t being bad, or naughty, they literally don’t have the cognitive development to follow instructions or remember what you’ve asked long term. Asking a 2 year old to do something and then expecting follow throigh is like asking a 9 month old to not wee in their nappy please. They can be the sweetest, kindest, happiest kid and they will not be able to do what you’re asking. You have to remind and remind and remind them, and redirect and distract them. I try to save my yelling for situations where he is putting himself or his little sister in danger. I sometimes explode still. But understanding that he isn’t being wilful helped me. Also I stopped calling it the terrible twos. I feel like it’s a horrible label. They are on a learning curve like we cannot even imagine,and learning to emotionally regulate