I don't think I know how to be strong anymore

I haven't posted in a while but I feel like I'm drowning and really need so much support. My husband and I have been having so many problems the last year my baby has been alive. I kept telling myself "maybe we can work through it", "maybe he'll change". But here I am on Saturday in a house that doesn't feel like home with a 1-year-old and no husband. He had a psychotic break last night. He scared me and my baby. I had to call 911 because I couldn't shake the fact that he was trying to attack me. They took him the hospital. The doctors and the police both told me that I should leave the house because once he got discharged there was nothing they could do to stop him from returning here and they were concerned for mine and my baby's safety. In the time that my husband and I have had a relationship he's never been like this. Not to mention we're getting evicted because the police have been here "too much". Am I really that bad of a person that my husband had a psychotic breakdown? Is this divorce my fault too? I have no one and nothing. He has all the money. I haven't been able to work in the last year because of my son's medical conditions. I need so much help I don't know which way to turn or who I can count on. My family wants nothing to do with me because of him. I feel like someone ripped out my heart and shoved back down my throat in tiny little pieces. I'm trying to stay strong but I don't think I'm doing a good job just trying to be a mom. I know the right thing to do, I don't want to but I feel like I have no choice. Letting go is hard but it's for the best....I think. I'm scared that I can't do this. All you amazing mamas I applaud you! Signed, A scared shitless newly single mama