bf sleeps while i take care of our newborn baby after i got re hospitalized 🥲

Sorry you’re feeling this way. Labour and post partum really is a team effort, everything is draining and the hormones make it more intense for you both. Is your boyfriend usually quite caring towards you? If so, maybe he was drained from the lack of sleep you’ve both likely experienced lately and from worrying about you being ill. Maybe he was just very tired as you both have a right to be, but it shows he does care when he took over when he woke up to you crying, a lot of people would ignore this or even berate their partner. I hope you’re feeling better soon, good luck with your recovery, remember to be patient and communicate with each other, and find a network of support even if you don’t speak in detail about your problems but just so you don’t feel isolated on this journey ❤️

It’s important to ask for assistance, or for them to take the reins. Unfortunately they don’t wake as easy as us with our maternal instincts. While I was in hospital I would wake my partner and he would do all the changing and nappies after I fed bub. He definitely could have slept through if I didn’t wake him, but that’s not him not caring

@Shaconia he is very caring and waits till i communicate though i usually don’t express how i’m doing physically or emotionally. i’ve been learning to express myself but completely threw that away once our baby was born. i feel bad yet still feel so sad. it’s confusing, i don’t want to keep him wondering 😭

@Courtney that’s definitely true. i’ve struggled with asking for help and expressing myself to others due to past experiences. im very thankful for him and he has also reassured me that i could depend on him especially now that we’re new parents. i just wish i wasn’t so emotional rn

It’s good you’re working on it, don’t give up. Most of our fears stem from childhood (upsetting someone, being seen as rude, feeling like I won’t be understood so there’s no point explaining, knowing I’ll cry so no point saying, etc). It’s difficult but I’m confronting those childhood feelings, they helped as a child but I’m not that child anymore, I’m an adult and I need new coping mechanisms. Ie letting those around me know what’s going on so they can help instead of holding it in and feeling resentment towards people who love me. If you struggle to speak about things note down the most important things before you start a talk so you don’t stray from what matters. I’ve explained to my boyfriend I need time to process what is said to me and my response, so I don’t do well in arguments (once had to text instead of talk because it felt less confrontational). We both remind each other we love one another & it’s not an attack, we’re just expressing how we feel