Disagreements
Everytime I have a disagreement with another person in front of my baby (she is 10mo now) I feel so bad, I think I'm messing her up and that this is going to cause her pretty bad things growing up or when adult, like shitty relationships or addiction. I mean, we don't get crazy at all but the tone of our voices changes and I sometimes cry as a way of melting away the tension afterwards. My father is the main reason this is happening lately and I feel sooo bad and sometimes also with my partner. My parents didn't get along when I was growing up and I don't want my child experiencing the same, I try to be very patient, understanding and calm with them but sometimes I can get defensive and use an 'angry' tone as I said. No yelling, no insulting but still can't cope with this guilt!
Seeing my father less is not an option right now. Any tips for disagreements? Can you help me with this guilt?
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I actually think it’s extremely important for children to witness conflict and see the mending that comes after. As someone who grew up without a healthy example of conflict or healthy expressions of anger it is often difficult for me to process or express anger. Yelling or using a tone will not in and of itself damage your child’s psyche, it’s how you resolve the conflict that will ultimately matter.
Thank you so much girls
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@Linsey thank you so much, your words help me a lot. It's all about patterns, our communication style is problematic and then I sometimes react instead of thinking first. What do you mean by enneagram?