School issue

Hey! If it was me I would speak to my child and explain why she cannot say these things etc and that those words will not be tolerated at home, so if she continues to say them there will be consequences (no screen time or whatever). I would then contact the school, either via the teacher or the safeguarding lead at the school, and express your concerns. They can then deal with it anonymously, and it may be that they are already dealing with the family anyway. In my experience with schools, they are usually aware and dealing with issues in the family anyway and would much rather be told so they can try to safeguard the other children in their care. Also, if you use the word safeguarding, they will speak to you almost immediately. Hope that helps x

I’m a teacher and I would definitely second what Kat just said. Either speak to the class teacher or ask to speak to the designated safeguard lead, whoever you feel most comfortable talking to. The school will then follow up.

Thank you for your advice I really appreciate it. I just don’t want her to be doing that kind of thing. I’ve told her it’s really bad and not ok but she thinks it is because this boy does it she can. I know some things are unavoidable and that they will pick things up from school but I wasn’t expecting the whole pretending to be high scene she’s just 4. It’s ashame as the child is obviously witnessing things he shouldn’t x

Very often behaviours mimic environment. It’s easy to assume she’s being influenced by one particular person, but it tends to go deeper than that. People often don’t realise that the phone absorbs information and relays that same information back if not ten fold. If someone says the word anorexia the phone will pick it up and will make suggestions or produce marketing in relation to that. Like weight loss pills, diet plans you name it. Teenager clicks on it and all she’ll see is what is being fed back. Taking away her phone is not a real life consequence so as soon as you give it back you’ll be at square one. teach her how to handle life, teach her the raw reality of being an adult and teach her how she can stay safe. set clear boundaries and then helping her stick to them. Maybe open Pinterest with her and create vision boards together and ask her about her hobbies, make sure her phone is in ear shot. Teach her to regulate her emotions and try journaling.

As parents, we all have different styles and acceptance of behaviours. However, as adults, we all have a responsibility to safeguard children whether they are ours or not. Teachers may be aware of issues, or you may be highlighting something they have not seen so they will be able to keep a closer eye on him. She will stop as she now knows it's wrong and not acceptable. Like you say, they pick things up from other children (good and bad). X