Self confidence at private competitive school
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I would probably be honest with her and explain she was top of her previous school as they didn't give her as many challenges. This new school will challenge her more and make her better than she could have been in the other school but it also means she will need to practice to get better
@Bonny that’s useful and sounds like I am on right track I kind off said the same and went over the feedback from teachers It was actually her previous school who were saying she was the best …etc … but obviously current school is more competitive so they are looking for higher standards… I am hoping she will get used to this
Going from one school to another is hard regardless of differences in expectations. It’s part of the growth. I’ve done the same with my daughter and they grow leaps and bounds with some time. Keep encouraging her and she’ll find her groove again!
I second what others above said! Also, it’s a good chance to learn that she doesn’t have to be the *best* at everything. She can love things & just be happy with her best work (easy to say but hard to do lol), as long as she’s doing her very best. I taught 4th grade (10yo), and one of my classes was SUPER competitive & would put others down. We did this activity that helped a lot, and you could do it with your daughter maybe? Ask them all to think of a flower. Everyone will be thinking of different colors, types etc. Think of an animal, same story. Everyone’s brains are slightly different and everyone’s abilities are uniquely talented. Is the daisy better than the rose? Nope. A daisy brings sunshine and a rose brings scent, and we delight in having both of them in our bouquets. This reflects how we think about math, reading, everything. Just because someone is good at something doesn't mean we’re NOT good!
This is normal and age appropriate. She won't just take your word for it anymore that she's the best swimmer/artist/performer ever, she's evaluating her performance against her peers and the outside world. Instead of only trying to prop her up with encouragement (some is good) also talk about how planning & especially practice are important for good performance. With her applications, knowing what she knows now, what would she have done differently if she could go back and do it again? Would she start earlier? Would she do a first draft? Would she try a harder technique or choose a different topic? Maybe pull out some of her old artwork to show she's made progress over time from practicing. You can't protect her from not being the best at everything, but you can help her see how she can do her personal best and feel good about her effort, even if it doesn't produce the desired result. Let her know it's normal to feel disappointed, you feel that way sometimes too, & you use it to motivate you to do your best.