Finding it difficult with my daughter

My daughter seems to be very scared of everything and I'm beginning to worry about her. She is timid in character but I've got to the point now where I'm getting frustrated with her which I don't want to do. For some context, her whole life I've taken her to baby groups, experiences and activities and she's always too afraid to join in and spends the entirety cowering into me. She's now began gymnastics and dancing and she won't do anything she is asked to do or join in she just wants to sit on my lap. As well as this she seems to be very scared of general things, animals, swimming, when people walk to close to her, when strangers talk to her etc. Am I the only one or do other mums have little ones with not much confidence? Feel like I see most other kids that are fearless and throw themselves into things. Feel hopeless with it after 3 years of this and like it's my fault but my other half and I are quite confident people so not sure where she's developed this from. Any words of advice appreciated. Xx

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My daughter sounds pretty much the same. She does like animals and swimming though. She doesn’t like other normal child things like going down slides, swings, “dangerous” things. She gets very shy in new crowds of people too and will never talk to a stranger. I think it’s our daughter’s personalities. I use to find it annoying but not annoying /worrying (can’t think of the words to use lol but now I’m grateful that she’s like that. She’s always been a cautious person and I think she always will be. When she was younger, I’m sure she could walk early but she just too scared to let go (walked at 17 months). I see my nieces and nephews who are the total opposite and I think I’d have a nightmare lol. I’d rather my daughter didn’t launch herself off tables etc. run on the road when getting into the car, running off on holiday and in the supermarkets. My SILs always complain about how careless their children are. My SILs don’t like the way I parent, I prefer gentle parenting but they…

…use tough love. If their kid falls; just get up and stop crying. No cuddles and kisses. My brother uses gentle parenting and his kid is 7 and very close to him and his wife. He is like our kids, very cautious. My nephew uses my brother and SIL a lot of comfort and I think our children do the same. Long rant but no, it’s not your fault. Our kids are just like that because we show them that we are their safe space, they are smart and cautious of dangers

I’ll provide a different perspective. My niece is 22 years old, when she was a toddler and young child she was very similar to what you describe and fairly mute. That took a long time and she’s still not loud but she’s found her way as she’s gone through life, her own set of friends at school, a part time job while studying and now she’s at uni she is the course rep. I’m so proud of her. Some of her cousins were the ppposite and really boisterous and they are flourishing in their own way. In a massive population you have to have people at the extremes and I agree with someone above that while it doesn’t feel normal, that’s her normal. Perhaps when she goes to school she’ll be forced to have some independence and things will change. Good luck

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