How to deal with acceptance?

Hi ladies, Yesterday I started bleeding and cramping quite heavily. I’m 5 weeks in and was told today by the hospital that my Hgc levels were too low at this stage for the pregnancy to have survived. I think I might still be in shock or grief that it’s actually happened but I just don’t know how I’m going to accept it and move on? I feel like most people around me are just pitying me and saying that it’s very common and I don’t really know what to say back. How will they ever understand that I have already loved this baby 100 times over and that I will miss them forever without ever even meeting them! Am I crazy for thinking this way? Why do people make miscarriage out to be such a way of life now that it feels like I can’t be upset about it. Please tell me it gets better? Do you girls still think about them?

Show your support

I’m sorry you are having to go through this. I unfortunately miscarried near the end of last year. This was my second time and it doesn’t get easier. I don’t think I’ve accepted what happened, i constantly still think about the what if’s. Take all the time you need to grieve for your baby 👼🏻 xx

So sorry for your loss! It is so hard! I think people say the thing about it being common to “help” since it’s really not talked about a lot and it is a way of saying it’s not your fault. That being said, it isn’t always helpful and it is still 100% a loss. You are not alone in this feeling. Even having a chemical and only being pregnant a couple of days was pure heartbreak for me. Take your time to mourn, you’ll never forget your angel baby(ies) but it does get better. But take the time you need and do what you need to do to get through it!

It’s hard no matter when it happens. We had a miscarriage at 12 weeks and it was easily the hardest thing I went through in life. It is very common. If someone says that to you it might be worth asking if they / their partner went through it too. It helped me a bit knowing who around me had experienced it too. More people than I thought! And I think so many women feel that way about it. I feel like it doesn’t get lighter to carry the loss but you get stronger carrying it, if that makes sense… Zoe Clark Coates has written some wonderful books with daily grief processing activities’the baby loss guide’ ‘pregnancy after loss’. We did a little private ceremony and named the baby and entered their name in the hospital’s book of remembrance. It felt good to do something.

My heart goes out to you, I don’t think you ever get over it. I think you go through it in waves, and the hardest part is people really do esp with early loss expect you to get back to normal , like you just had a late period and didn’t just lose your baby, like your body isn’t going through a tremendous roller coaster of hormones and distress . I Mc end of last month at 6w1d and even my partner couldn’t really hold space for me the way I needed. It’s hard and often a lonely struggle. Just because it’s common doesn’t mean it’s any less impactful on your heart. I most definitely think about it, I think about my 9wk loss over a decade ago how old they’d be . But I find comfort knowing they’re with me forever, their cells are apart of you forever, even healing you at times ( look it up its rather extraordinary if you haven’t heard about it ) 💛💛💛

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌