WWYD

MIL has texted my hubby and told him she was crying because of two things. 1) Her other son doesn’t want her visiting him in his country. 2) I am not allowing her to be involved in my pregnancy. He has asked me to let her be involved even though he knows how overbearing, controlling and disrespectful she was during previous pregnancy. She was also a danger to my child. I feel a little bad for her. However, at the same time, I don’t. Everything has to be about her. Pregnancy is always all about what she wants: The baby’s room could not be a certain colour. She didn’t like the name we picked so she discussed it, even though it was a secret, and tried to bully me into changing it. She didn’t like the buggy I picked so she went shopping for a new one. She didn’t like the baby’s gender so she would only shop for clothes of the opposite. I am tired of having to appease someone that has to always get their way. The reason her son doesn’t want her visiting is because she goes the same time of year and they have Chinese New Year celebrations - which she has always been involved in since their kids were born. All they want is to be able to celebrate as a family of 4. Also, they are coming to our country this summer in order for the kids to meet and spend time together. It’s not as if she is not seeing them at all. At this point, I am going to tell my hubby that he also needs to stay away from me. It is doing nothing but adding to my anxiety and causing unnecessary stress.

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Umm that is so weird. If your husband is t supportive of you first and foremost, he doesn’t deserve you. Don’t feel bad for her, people like her love causing stress in peoples lives.

She does not need to be involved in your pregnancy it's yours 🙄 if she doesn't like the colour of baby's room too bad don't go in there this would be so beneficial as you could escape there with bub when she drives you nuts, I myself pretend I'm not comfortable breastfeeding infront of my inlaws so I can hide out in my room to feed 🤣 but happily pop a boobie out to feed in public or around others. Right now while you're pregnant is the best time to lose it on her and him you can blame the snappiness on hormones

@Shanade Haha, I love it 😂 Exactly my point! None of this concerns her. She acts as if I do not have my own Mum (who is also not involved). That was from a previous pregnancy. I learned my lessons.

Only buying clothes for the opposite gender just because she wasn’t happy with the actual gender is crazy work

She doesn’t need to be involved and if your husband is aware of how she was the last pregnancy, then you have all right to say no to ensure things are done your way this time and you can just enjoy all aspects without hurdles. Also your husband needs to look into why his brother doesn’t want her to visit. Could it possibly be because his partner can’t stand her either?? What’s the likelihood that she accepts been present but agrees to be non verbal, show up but shut up”, would be a good compromise. It’s that or be sent updates as and when you feel like it.

If I was you I’d accept the things she brought you like the buggy and clothes and donate them or put them up for a cheap price online then if she asks you can say “well I already have everything I need and thought someone else would benefit from having these”. It’s not her choice to choose things for you and don’t let her pressure you into things like baby names as that is strictly between you and your husband. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, I’d personally cut her off or if that is a harder thing to do then don’t have her around you. Decline all of it. You shouldn’t have to live with such anxiety and stress especially when pregnant and raise that matter with your husband that you don’t want to have this stress around you

@Dionne That’s a good idea, thank you. I got my way with the name. I made sure to register my baby as soon as I could and she had to suck it up. It was just really hurtful when she was saying horrible things and kept asking if I had “changed the name yet?” There is no chance of her finding out the name this time around

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