I’m struggling and need help

First of all, I just want to send you hugs. I get that on pause feeling. I had it when I had my first child. You don't need to be doing anything or going anywhere unless you really want to. I do suggest you talk to your Health Visitor and GP with how you're feeling. I have a loose routine of which goes out the window if anyone is ill. I feed LO, change Lo, change myself, if baby has fallen back to sleep I do some washing up that I leave to dry on the draining board, drying it up seems like a waste when it can air dry whilst I do something else. If Lo wakes, I stop and play with her for a bit. We may go out for a short walk and pick up some shopping, we may not. Just home days are good and needed too. I take my LO to a couple of baby groups and I try and make a coffee morning at my local church, free coffee and cake plus it allows me to talk to other adults. I don't do this every week, for example this last week was filled with looking after my lo, doing a few dishes, watching TV, playing with LO.

It will be ok

I have felt this too. At first I thought I should wait til things are 'better' to get out, but I've found that going out (anywhere!) seems to make the day pass more smoothly. Also if I manage to get to a baby group or something, they are offering stimulation which takes pressure off me thinking what to do with my little one. In between feeds I'll try to go out for a local walk most mornings (this clears my head, allows me to text people back and has the added bonus of little one often falling asleep!) for like, 30 min to an hour. Some mornings I try to go to a baby group but I give myself permission not to go if running late/ it doesn't feel right. If a walk feels overwhelming, taking baby on errands eg picking up shopping, baby weighing, post office- and is a gentle way of being out of the house for not too long and getting stuff done. If my little one accepts it I'll put him on me in the baby carrier around the house during the day or in the bouncer so I can do a few chores.

Should also add that I'll also invite people round as they play with the baby and it can give me a break and I figure it helps baby as everyone offers something a bit different. And I call my parents in regularly to play too. It all takes pressure off me thinking what to do with him as sometimes I can't think of what to play or do with him. Some play options: nursery rhymes, looking at patterns (on cushions or tops or tablecloths, he loves it lol), playing music and dancing around, stories, talking to baby about what I'm doing (e.g. around the house) while doing it, practicing standing, tummy time, and it's ok for them to watch a bit of TV sometimes too :)

@Coral I like the idea of your loose routine. Just reading it sounded chilled and go with the flow. It’s made me think I’ve been putting too much pressure on myself.

@Corinne I’ve been to baby classes before and find it’s amazing but I get so embarrassed when I arrive late in a sweaty panic. I like the idea of giving myself permission to not go if running late/ it doesn’t feel right .

I've also been that parent arriving in a panic! And have also seen others and I feel their pain, so I'm sure people are not judging

I have very relaxed routine. If I don’t feel like doing something today it simply won’t be done until I have more energy and inspiration 😃 looking after baby 24/7 is already a full time job