Please help šŸ™ƒ

I have a 4 month old and a nearly 2 year old. My eldest over the last week has had screaming tantrums,her scream is piercing and she throws herself around. She gets like this when itā€™s time for a nap or bedtime,sheā€™ll be tired downstairs so Iā€™ll take her up and she used to have a bottle and pass out in minutes but now she has a tantrum until she passes out,Iā€™ve tried distracting her,comforting her and ignoring her but nothing works. I have sensory issues and the scream she does has me shaking and tearful,I do have ear plugs but her scream over powers them, I also have to bring the youngest in with me because she has to be in me all the time but then she starts crying because of my eldest.Iā€™m at a loss and to make things worse my partner is on a exercise for 6 weeks next week and Iā€™m DREADING being on my own,after she went down for a nap today I just cried and cried until I felt sick because Iā€™m so overwhelmed,Iā€™m touched out and just feel like a shell of myself. Please send any advice or even similar stories because right now I canā€™t see the light at the end of the tunnel šŸ™ƒ
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We have a tree my oldest is allowed to go scream and screech at. Iā€™ll ask her ā€œdo you need to scream?ā€ She says ā€œyesā€ and we go. If we are indoors, I tell her she can scream into a blanket and then sheā€™s good. Your case seems extreme. Itā€™s unorthodox but maybe scream with her by showing her how/where/when to do it???? Iā€™m so sorryā€¦.i still get touched out. Itā€™s the worst. You shouldnā€™t be alone with this for 6wks. Your partner needs to help you find a therapist, baby sitter while youā€™re there. Can you go stay with family for those 6wks??? Coming from having post Partum depression myself, I think it might not be safe for you to be alone with that. My thoughts were really dark and it was knowing my mom would take the baby in the night so I could get sleep if I had to. Being sleep deprived, hormonal, extremely overwhelmed, and helpless isnā€™t a good recipe.

@Izzy that sounds like a healthy way for her to let it out! I donā€™t think mine would understand, Iā€™ve tried sitting with her in a quiet room and consoling, distracting but she gets into a state in seconds and nothing works! Iā€™d honestly be worried my neighbours would knock on my door as they did last month when she started screaming at 2am, we live in army housing so Iā€™m worried theyā€™d speak to his bosses! Iā€™m dreading it, all my family work full time, Iā€™ll be spending 1 week with them and my mum has said sheā€™d spend a few nights but she normally plans a few nights and ends up going back after 1 night because my dad will say heā€™s lonely (my 21 year old brother still lives with them). Honestly his mental health is bad and Iā€™ve asked him to look into therapy himself but he doesnā€™t see how it helps so I donā€™t think heā€™s do that for me. I donā€™t know anyone in the area that could babysit, I really only trust my mum šŸ˜©

@Izzy Iā€™m sorry youā€™ve gone through PPD! Honestly my mental health has just been at an all time low the past few months it started off the odd bad day now theyā€™re more frequent than the good days. Iā€™ve reached out to my mum and something else has always been a priority and with my partners working hours itā€™s hard to have much support. I think when I go home Iā€™ll explain to my mum as normally on the phone I canā€™t get a word in šŸ¤¦šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø

I understand. I remember begging for help and knowing I was in a bad state, but didnā€™t realize how bad until I was out of the worst of it! Small highlight: I still am overwhelmed, but where it was a 10, I think Iā€™m at a manageable 5-7 most days now. I hope thereā€™s a mama friend in your future and in your area to just come over and ā€œbeā€ with you so youā€™re not so lonely. The feeling of isolation is truly the worst. I never understood it until I was trapped with such little kids day in and day out with an unsupportive partner. (He wanted to do more, but literally couldnā€™t; ADHD untreated so bad) Itā€™s just not fair and thereā€™s no time for you to really be there for them. And then add screamingā€¦..itā€™ll pass, but Iā€™m really hoping sooner rather than later for you love!!

@Izzy Iā€™m so sorry,Iā€™m glad youā€™re now finding it more manageable! Thatā€™s so sweet of you! I would love nothing more than to have a friend near by but unfortunately the estate Iā€™m in is very well known for 2 faced and fake people (obviously not everyone but it does have a bad reputation here) so I am scared but I have a good sense of people so Iā€™d hopefully be able to spot them from a mile away but Iā€™m hopeful thereā€™s at least 1 person here Iā€™m able to become friends with! Isolation is awful! Donā€™t get me wrong I do enjoy my own company but when itā€™s been a while and it hits you itā€™s so tough! Iā€™m so sorry you didnā€™t have a supportive partner, ADHD is tough let alone untreated so I canā€™t imagine what that was like for you! I actually broke down to my mum on the weekend and she offered to have my eldest for a few nights (beyond rare so Iā€™m extremely grateful) so sheā€™s taken her and I miss her sooo much but I know I mentally needed the break and itā€™s also given me a chance

@Izzy to bond with my youngest and soak up the last few days with my partner before he goes away. I feel like I donā€™t give him the attention he deserves as Iā€™m still learning to divide my attention between 3 people now but these past 2 days have been so good for my mental health,even if Iā€™m asking my mum for photos and videos frequently šŸ˜‚ thank you so much for your replies! I actually posted this in another group and had no reply so itā€™s nice to be seen and heard! I wish nothing but the best for you and your beautiful family šŸ„°

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