Warning against bd

Been having an increasingly controlling relationship with my bd over 4 years, we have a newborn now and an argument this week led to him slapping me. I also suspect that he slashed two of my tyres while I went to visit him as we recently moved into separate houses because social services have been involved. Since the incident I saw a post from last year online of a screenshot of his tinder profile where an ex wrote that he destroyed her life and she needed therapy afterwards. I don’t feel like I can tell him incase he is able to recognise the author of the post, I don’t want to put her at risk. I know that there are massive alarm bells telling me to keep clear of him-I’m just so overwhelmed with information and emotions and don’t know how I will maintain no contract with a controlling bd-I’m scared to inform social services in case they see me as unfit for returning to him. I feel lonely during this time.

Show your support

Tell them. Keep you and baby safe

tell social services 100% it’s better to come forward now then when he’s beat you half to death because you’ve gone back again. if you are really anxious contact a legal aid place for an appointment to ask some questions. i don’t know where your from but in ontario our legal aid does 30 minute consultations for free, you can give them a run down of the situation and your concerns, they can tell you the legal side of things & also point you in the direction of supports for you. but contact social services because if you’re not making record of all these incidents, there is always a possibility that it can come back to bite you in the end. stand up for yourself & your child mama❤️ trust your gut and keep that baby your main focus. he’s proved he’s no good for either of you. social services won’t see you unfit for this situation, you are a new mom who wanted to put in the work to keep her family together, he’s the one who is in the wrong for his actions.

contacting them sooner rather then later just shows them that you know it was a mistake in going back, and you want to protect yourself and your baby and do what’s best for the both of you, they will never see that as being unfit❤️

I am a social worker and I am going to be blunt with you. Social services main priority is for your child to be safe. If you keep going back to that man there is every chance you could have your child removed from your care because he is a violent man and you are knowingly putting yourself and your child at risk. You’ve recognised that as you’ve put that in your post. They can support with your child having contact with dad in a safe controlled environment - if he is assessed as safe for her to be around. And you won’t need to have any contact with him to do that. You need to put baby first and show them that is what you’re doing. If you continue to see this man it will come out in the end it always does I promise you. Please leave him for you and your child’s sake.

@Danielle thank you very much for your comment. When social services were involved he hadn’t been physical, it was classed as coercive control and he had smashed items in the house. Since the physical assault I intend to not be in any private spaces with him, perhaps public spaces in the future.

Any kind of domestic abuse a child witnesses is putting them at risk of harm. Physical or otherwise. I advise not meeting with him at all. But you know your situation more than me

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