ashamed to become a single parent
Show your support
Honestly I was so much happier after I left my ex. We didn't get along. We still have communication issues and he knows nothing about taking care of babies. It is better, though.
I can't give any advice as what you're saying is exactly how I'm feeling and I'm getting ready to go. My partner is a narcissist and he's left me as a shell of the person I was before we met. I hope you know that it's not your fault and it's his failure not yours. I'm sorry you're in this situation but you are an incredible mum who is putting her little girl first ❤️
@Natasha and OP if either of you need any support please feel free to message me! I'm here for you guys. My baby daddy is a narcissist as well so I know how that feels.
I've been a single parent since my boy was about 10 weeks...hes now 7.5 months and we're doing amazing. His dad sounds very similar to your partner - he doesn't know his routine, he doesn't change nappies, feed him, didn't wake up to him crying etc so I got rid as he'd just moan everyday that he was tired even though he was getting full nights sleeps on the sofa whilst I was with the baby! You just fall into a routine and honestly it was the best decision I've made ... he sees his son for about 6 hours a week - his choice!
@Lauren Sorry i pressed send too soon. I was just going to ask how you coped knowing that he didn’t know how to do anything with your LO, especially when and if it came to overnights. My partner also gets a full nights rest on the sofa 😆
@Jaime I’m just super scared about sharing my baby with him because i do everything - he’s his father sure but he really has no concept of timings/sleep/naps. He has 2 children from a previous relationship who are 8 and 10 and he lets them stay up till gone midnight when they stay with us. 😭
The sad thing is he's already got another child so he does know how to do everything he just chose not to...he used to do the 11pm feed up until 10 weeks as he used to stay up late but he never did a night feed that meant that he had to actually wake up even on weekends so I've done every single wake since my boy was born! He also barely sees his other child so I mean rod in my own back there 🫠 but I don't trust him to have my boy on his own as he sounds very similar to your partner so I get why you're scared about sharing with him. I have exactly the same anxiety's with mine
My son is 14 months old, and we split when he was 6 months. I darent let my ex look after him on his own unless I know he's going to family/friends as I have to remind him to feed him, never mind anything else! I'm dreading the day he asks for him overnight, although I'm pretty sure we're a long way off him asking that!!
I feel this ^^
I completely sympathise as a single parent of a 3 yr old. It's not what I want but similarly to you I do everything and I'm OK with it because it is what it is and I carry on. If it was meant to be any other way it would be, carry on doing what you do because always wondering "what if" will ruin the experience for you and your child and compromiseyour kental health. Much love❤️
Solo parented my son from the get go. He’s now 10 and we’re so so close. It was hard, but so worth it. I even went back into education when he was 1 and he came to uni with me and he was by my side when I graduated. If you have any friends and family who can be there as a support network talking keeps you sane. You’ll be ok. Mums are superheroes and we always make it work ❤️
From the sounds of it your biggest fear is just letting him parent your child on his own which is a very valid fear when you’re doing everything alone already to keep your child safe, healthy and happy. My advice is, don’t initiate anything. Don’t initiate contact. Don’t initiate overnight stays. Don’t initiate conversations. He needs to approach you. He needs to make plans. He needs to actively be involved and my betting is he won’t because he already won’t with the two he’s got and doesn’t at all with your child. There you go, worry all gone hun! Yes there’s stigma to broken relationships but being a single parent without the added man child is far easier and a lot more enjoyable 😉💕
I split from my child’s father when he was 1.5 years old. In all honesty we should have split sooner, but stayed because of our son. It was a loveless relationship. I decided one day to prioritise my happiness and told him to leave. I would (and still) do everything for my son, so was technically already a single parent without even realising. Just like you, I was worried how he would cope with the overnight stays and the routine my son was in when it came to naps, food, bath, bedtime etc because I would always do all of this. Our communication was never the best and it still isn’t, but I set ground rules that I needed him to do before I allowed him to have him overnight. This was things like ensuring he done a proper food shop (receipt), buying our son a proper bed, clothes, nappies etc. I would purposely then check in around the set times that I know my son would be scheduled to do something. For example, I would always call or text at 7pm asking if my son settled for bed.
If my son was still awake, he was not keeping to the routine. I would then try and discuss this with him and would show him how unsettled this would make our son. I would tell him that if this continued, I would limit contact and stop overnight stays as it wasn’t fair for our son’s welfare. I documented everything in a notebook and kept track of all the issues I would face when trying to resolve the differences we had when it came to our son. In the end, he became better. Understood that I was doing it all for the best interest of our son and started sticking to what I was asking and the routine set. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not perfect and we still have a lot of issues but I feel less anxious leaving him with his father now. I still miss him all the time when he’s gone though.
to connect with women at a similar stage in life.
Trusted by 5M+ women
to connect with women at a similar stage in life.
Trusted by 5M+ women
On a side note, I understand the fear of being part of that statistic of single parent etc, I’m also a part of that too, but honestly it was the absolute best decision I have ever made in my life. It was hard at first, but my son and I managed by ourselves just fine and I adored spending all that time just me and him. I’ve been lucky enough to meet someone new who is an incredible bonus dad to my son. He supports and cares for me and my son and loves us both unconditionally. We’ve now brought a house together and are expecting our own baby together. Sometimes there is a silver lining, you just have to get through the fog first. I wish you and your child the best and happy for you to message if you ever want to chat. Be strong mama, you’ve got this x
Just wanna say that I feel this. 💗
By the sounds of it, you're already nearly a single parent... it might be daunting at first, but you'll be absolutely fine!! This is speaking from experience... things actually end up easier!