Leaving baby overnight - when

I went away for my hen do (spa weekend) 3 weeks post partum for one night - it was only 40 mins away, but really enjoyed the night away and chance to re energise x

It's really tricky to say as there are so many factors at play. If you're breastfeeding, it's unlikely you'll be able to be away when they are that little, also they might be a bottle refuser? Not taking into account how you might feel about the whole thing at the time. When my first was born, the hormones were REAL and there was no way she was leaving my side at all x my eldest is 3 and there only been 1 night she's been away from me (my wedding night!) 🤣 youngest is 10months and she's never been away at all

Very personal choice. You’ll not know how you feel until nearer the time. My little one is 13 months old and I’ve never left him overnight and not planning on anytime soon. X

You can do it, of course you can but whether you want to or not is another matter. I wouldn’t have wanted to leave my daughter at 2 months and likely won’t this baby either. Perhaps suggest you can make it to something during the day and that way baby and husband can go with you and you can leave them for a few hours but have them nearby. Alternatively you say you can’t commit to anything as you’ll have a tiny baby and see how you feel closer to the time. It seems cruel for people to expect you to, especially with your first and having no idea how you’ll feel or be. Hope you find a solution x

I'd say they come along and you all stay in hotel nearby and just do the earlier bits, that's what I'd do, very distressing for baby otherwise

@Henrietta my thoughts exactly

I have a 3 MO and I personally wouldn't want to. I combination feed and probably wouldn't be able to produce enough milk to leave my LO that long! If I did, it would take literally weeks of planning. BF is complicated, individual and there are so many variables it is impossible to say! Aside from feeding, we've had colic battles, medications, screamy days, allergies etc not to mention hormones and exhaustion! (It is lovely though - honest 😂) I would simply say, I'm happy to book as long as it's a hotel I can get my money back if it isn't right for me and my baby at the time. I'm planning on going on a hen do in May when my LO is 5 MO. The party has booked a shared house and I have booked a hotel which I can cancel up to the day before around the corner. I'd also want somewhere quieter so I could express, call home and probably go to bed at 10 o clock undisturbed 😂 When you have a baby, you become less bothered about offending people and just care about what's best for them. 😊

I think it's so personal and will just depend on you and baby when you are here and also very much of how you are feeding. I breastfeed and little man won't take and bottle and we've ended up co sleeping so I can't see any nights away anytime soon in our future (he's almost 8 months). But also for me, the idea of a night away from him makes me feel sick with anxiety still 😂😂 I've never left him with anyone but his dad yet. And never been away from him more than 3 hours

Thanks all for your advice. Difficulty is they are trying to get a large cottage for everyone which will put the pressure on confirming. I think I'm just going to say I can't commit until nearer the time. Good idea to potentially look at staying somewhere else with Husband and baby nearby if I go and then I can to and throw between. It's such a mind field and the maid of honour is a mum and not made any reference to me maybe not being able to come which made me think is it normal to expect me to leave baby that soon 🙈. I can't say I'm a fan of the idea of leaving her that soon either x

I agree with all that's been said above, especially the breastfeeding part: pumping that much milk would take me ages (and you'll be tired enough without having to also think of that) and you would have to keep regularly expressing while away both to protect the supply and to avoid being in pain. If you formula feed only, no issue, of course. I think it would be very unkind on their part to not consider you might not be able/want to come and that you won't know until then. At Christmas, my LO was less than 3 months old. My mum suggested she could babysit while we went out for a date dinner or something. I had said "maybe", then when the time came I decided not to 🤷🏻‍♀️ Two nights are a long time away. My husband is very hands-on, but sometimes my baby needs me to calm him down.

I wouldn’t personally. And I think they shouldn’t be disappointed/upset with you if you don’t go because you’ve had a baby and it’s only a couple of months old. Sometimes I think people think your life will go back to normal and you can do everything you did before having the baby without a worry on what you’re going to do with the baby. Plus you might be exhausted and won’t enjoy the hen do

so personal, there is nothing wrong with you doing that at all. and there really are no rules. realistically we are adults and can make our own decisions when it comes to our babies. and i forget that a lot and remember that im actually in charge, like i could eat cereal right now if i wanted too and it’s 12:30 am🤣 but it’s what feels right for you, you might feel okay about it and WANT two nights away when she’s here and then it gets half an hour drive and you want to come back because you don’t like being away from them. i have too much of doubt about anyone looking after my babies and don’t have that much trust in anyone other than myself and my partner. but even then he’s a really deep sleeper so it freaks me out. so until they are constantly sleeping through the night i’m not going anywhere. and that’s all just personal preference really. do whatever works for you x

Everyone will be different but I personally would have found this pretty tricky at 2 months. I am exclusively breastfeeding (I was open to all feeding options this is just what worked for us) and baby was still feeding lots and lots / cluster feeding at this age as well as needing me to get to sleep. I found pumping any reasonable volume tricky until more recently. Plus I just don’t think any of us were ready to be apart. I’m planning my first night away when my little one will be 7 months as we’re a bit more practised. If you plan to take husband and baby nearby just consider that baby may be quite young tor long car journeys still then too and you’d need to stop several times on journey. So tricky to decide now it’s a hard one & they should defo be considering you.

My little one stayed at my mum’s for the night at 10 weeks old 😊 But you have to do what’s right for you and I’m sure they will understand if you don’t go 😊

Unfortunately not to be rude but they may of not batted an eye about you because it isn’t about you, the bride is going to do what she wants regardless of one person. I went out 3 weeks pp for my birthday and my MIL had him for the night and all was fine :) I think you will decide nearer the time once you understand what’s right for you and they have no reason to be annoyed at you if you don’t go I wouldn’t stress it!

@Laura I'm not against her having the hen and me not going nor do I expect stuff to be planned to suit me. My point that it hasn't been mentioned by others is that I'm just worried the other bridesmaids, who have kids, seem to be assuming I'll be going, which has stressed me out to feel like I should be ok with leaving baby so long and being so far away and whether my doubts are right. I also don't want to let the bride down / not be there. I was just struggling to work out if it's normal or even doable, so was asking advice of other people's experiences before I commit to something. Based on what people have said though I very much agree I think I'm just going to have to say I'll decide nearer the time and hopefully everyone will be fine with that. I'm probably overthinking as it's my nature to be a people pleaser.

@Charlotte I wouldn’t stress honestly, I have a son and went on my friends hen to Paris for 2 nights and another girl with children didn’t come. Don’t worry about others and do what is best for you at the time without pressuring yourself😊

We were also both bridesmaids

I’m planning on leaving my baby with grandparents because I’ve had a trip planned to Amsterdam with my best friend for years. And it’s finally coming this December. Baby due in late September/early October. I’m already cutting down my vacay from a couple of weeks to like 4 days. Though who know, baby may come with to Amsterdam 😂

@Laura thanks ☺️. I think if she was going to be a bit older I'd be ok / not stressed about leaving her with my husband. It's just the stress of not knowing how it will be when she is 2 months or less 🙈 and not wanting to let people down. This first time baby stuff is a mindfield! But I'm sure once she is here it will be easier to know / navigate.

You have to trust how you feel, other mums will do things based on how they feel. Don’t feel bad if it doesn’t feel right to go. We’ve turned down an evening wedding when baby will be 3 months old because I can’t imagine leaving them.