Newborn struggles

Baby is 4 days old now and tonight I feel horrible. The first 3 nights I wouldn’t say were a breeze but it felt like I kinda was getting the hang of things with the feeds and changes etc. I was able to nap between feeds and I felt good. Tonight has been so so hard. Baby has a stuffy nose and even though she seemed like she was sleeping, her breathing sounded scary. Obviously newborns like to breathe through their nose and when she would breathe through her mouth she sounded clear and fine but I couldn’t sleep I constantly kept picking her up because she would toss and turn sniffling and seeming to be struggling to breathe. I had put some saline drops in her nose and it seemed to help for about 10 mins. I used the snot sucker and nothing came out. I couldn’t stop crying, my husband was really unsure too and his sister who we live with (who has kids of her own) offered to take her for a few hours around 3am and my husband agreed and honestly I was so overwhelmed even though I wanted to say no, I really needed to curl up in a ball and cry. So I said yes and she took her. I feel like a shit mum, I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing and I feel like a failure. My husband doesn’t understand, he says it’s my first ever time looking after a newborn and it’s one night but I’m so embarrassed. Anyone else struggling?

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What you’re feeling is completely normal and believe it or not, it’s a good thing. You’re definitely not a shit mum and if you were you wouldn’t be worrying about it cause you wouldn’t care. There will be times you feel like you’ve cracked it then also times you feel like a failure but you’re not. It’s all new to you and baby and you will get there. Accept the help because honestly, we all need it at some point. Also don’t be embarrassed about it. Everyone that’s had children has asked for help at some point because being a parent is harder than anyone could ever imagine. You got this 💪🏼 x

Baby blues hit around day 4, it's totally normal to feel weepy and upset at the time. Give yourself some grace, you are learning these skills and that's ok. You are doing so much better than you think x

Please be kinder to yourself! You are a brand new mum of a 4 day old and you are postpartum and going through one of the biggest hormonal shifts possible. You aren’t your normal you, every sense is heightened. It is an incredibly vulnerable time. You are not a shit mum, you are clearly worried and that already proves otherwise. Motherhood is full of guilt and it’s hard to think rationally at this time but if you have help around, accept it! We really weren’t meant to do this alone. In tribal communities having the baby held and mother supported is just standard. As for the breathing, they will be snuffly as lots of mucus post birth but not really a cold. They make a lot of noise. But again senses heightened and it’s all new territory. You won’t have the hang of it in days! Please be kinder to yourself!!! Rest and enjoy your baby and accept the help!

Aww you're doing a great job! The best you can. No matter what preparation we do for motherhood some things can only be learnt when they're here. Hurdles will be thrown at you.You're still learning. It's only day 4. Don't be so hard on yourself. And be greatful you have a village to give you a couple hours off. X

Oh please give yourself some grace!! It’s a huge adjustment having a baby and you are only on day 4. I wish I could have told myself this with my first child, I put so much pressure on myself it ruined the newborn experience. They change so much in this first year. One moment you will feel like you’ve got it all under control the next minute everything’s changed and what you did before doesn’t work anymore! You kind of have to lean in to the chaos. Your husband’s sister probably offered because she knows exactly what it’s like! Xx

You’re not alone, I agree with the other mums, I think we put too much pressure on our self to have this perfect routine and perfect breastfeeding journey et cetera. Exhaustion does all sorts of thingsto the mind. My baby is two weeks old today. And it’s been a bumpy journey for sure. We’re here for each other. 💕

As others have said, day 4/5 are when your milk comes in (I think this happens even if you aren't breastfeeding) so it's a SUPER emotional day! When my first baby was born I spent the whole day depressed/crying because I had taken my dog away from his mum and I felt so guilty now I was a mum 🫠🥲. You're doing great, and newborns are always congested it takes a while for that to clear l, you don't need to suck it out as it's not a cold, but you start to get used to their noises. Also, there's a difference between being a mum 24/7 and people who come over to help out, they have gotten full night's sleep and haven't just been through birth/a massive life change etc so it's normal that they are more fresh, doesn't mean they are 'better' with our babies. You're doing great, just take one day at a time, you'll get there 🤗🌸

You are very lucky you have somebody who can take your baby for few hours at night and at this time you can enjoy your rest a bit,dont forget what not everybody has this opportunity.My husband sister lives 10 min drivinng from us and she told me if you need any help with older daughter,she after 2 months turn 4 years, during you will stay with newborn,you can ask me. And Im too much appreciate that offering,because doesnt matter how many kids you have,it wiuld never be easy and no need to blame yoursefl for that. All babys are different,by the way,all nights could be different as well. Me and my husband been without any help here when born first daughter and it wasnt easy but we managed to do that…How many sleepless nights it was..I was breastfeeding till nearly 2 and in all that time I sleept calmly maximum couple nights😀But later we planned second baby and its on the way now and will accept any help because inwill need that,Im sure and I wont feel bad mum because of that.

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