Feeling guilty

Not an entirely similar situation but I’m also needing to supplement with formula. I exclusively bottle fed my first because I did t feel confident enough to BF. This time I so desperately want to BF but it has ended up being SO much harder than I could have imagined. Plus the support I was getting at the birthing centre got cut short and we had to rush my newborn to the hospital as they discovered a hole in his heart. So my focus got totally interrupted in the first 3 days. My milk is in but I’ve no idea what a ‘good supply’ looks like and I’ve still not managed to get my son to successfully latch. So I try to do that, fail, express what I can in that moment and use formula for the rest. You don’t need to feel guilty whatsoever. As I said about my first, bottle fed and (if I do say so myself) he’s utterly perfect in every way from health to personality and everything inbetween. My decision was the best for me and that’s actually what matters most 🫶🏼

Definitely should be no shame in combi feeding if that is what works best for you and baby. But you shouldn’t be feeling nipple pain and that says there is something not quite right with the latch. Unless this is addressed you may find formula takes over more of the feeds because why wouldn’t it if it’s less painful for you. And you may find supply dips as it’s established after 6-8 weeks so you’d still be wanting to take baby to the breast as much as possible. This is if you want BF to continue. I can’t stress enough that this is not to add any shame or guilt as formula feeding 100% or whatever % is more than fine but just awareness because if BF is something you do want to continue, it sounds like you could use some support and get the latch assessed. There might be some tenderness from overuse initially but not actual pain so again would want to address that firstly. Cont.

Silverettes can help but you actually shouldn’t need creams/cups etc. if the latch is good because the nipple shouldn’t be getting this level of trauma. NCT abd La Leche Leagues might have a BF group near you or the children’s centre or midwife clinic to refer you. Ideally though they would IBCLC qualified though as other medical professionals including midwives just don’t have the expertise. This FB group is also great and offers latch support privately from the consultants who run it. Again absolutely no shame in combi feeding or formula feeding and you may want to still do this for feeds because of sleep or whatever but just don’t think it should be a decision you have to make based on pain as that could & should be fixed ❤️ https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1XZmXouKjT/?mibextid=wwXIfr

Also on day 18 👋🏻 We started combi feeding with top up bottles to get weight back up. And now transitioning more into 1 evening bottle/when needed if I’m not there. I did this with my first and it helps take the pressure off massively. The latch shouldn’t hurt, so recommend reaching out to infant feeding team, health visitor or local breastfeeding support groups. Watch videos about latching and try different positions. If latch isn’t right then bottles will end up being preferred for both of you. I’ve been letting her cluster feed for a few hours in evening, and then she still demolishes a bottle when I’m ready for bed. Also could try nipple shields?

@Caley I’m so sorry to hear about your little one 🤗 I hope they’re doing well and the right interventions are in place. Thank you for your reply 💗

@Lauren thank you for this. You’ve given me a different insight into this which makes complete sense. I did think my latch was good but then again you’re right - it shouldn’t feel sore. I’ll try to get to the root of the problem as I do want to try breastfeeding exclusively this time round. It is so hard and I’ll forever understand why some mums struggle to breastfeed. It does become too much sometimes, both physically and mentally. Thanks for your reply💗

@Laura I did buy some nipple shields online but they ended up being too big 🥲 I’ll need to try again and size down. Thank you 💗