I’ve had enough

yeppp! if it wasn’t for me we’d do literally nothing and nothing would get done either, men have it so easy 🙃

That’s why I didn’t get with a guy like that and have kids because they never change and never get better until you “attempt” to leave. They’ll get better for a few weeks then back to the normal them

@Chí unfortunately a lot of men don’t show their true colours until it’s too late

@Ellie I mean even if I make the plans, he could at least show up, be present and have a good time! But more than half the time it feels like I’m making a teenage son come with me 😮‍💨

@Chí He wasn’t always like that, it’s now he’s comfortable and showing his true side rather than the one that wins you over. I’m seriously considering separation but I’ve always wanted my kids to have the same father and I’d like more 😩 He’s a loving person who’d give and do anything for us, but there’s no excitement or zest for life there

omg if he’s not even bothered to be involved in the plans you do make is just rude aswell :/

@Ellie it’s never too late lol. You can always leave a person. And idk the way people say this is interesting because men aren’t master magicians to totally hide who they are. I do believe love is blind and it’s a mixture of a guy also love bombing.

@Chí yeah but it’s not very nice is it 😂 and yes they are? very easily, men can act so ready for kids and give you everything and then realise they don’t actually want the hassle after they’re born it’s like a really common thing lol

Incog, I know what you mean about your kids having the same father and a family’s however sometimes you gotta consider, would your kids appreciate a happy, healthy, loved mother more? Not telling you to leave absolutely not, but it’s something to think about. Your kids not having the same father is also okay. Because I’m telling you, and a lot of Older women will tell you the same… they don’t get better. In fact, the more dependent, comfortable and complacent they get, it “can” get worse. Do keep in mind that everything I’m saying is the general consensus and there are a small percentage of couples who have worked it out and found a happy middle ground.

@Ellie i don’t think the issue is only him not being ready for kids. I mean a lot of mothers experience it too as the reality of motherhood is not what they expected. If it was just that then i wouldn’t have said what i said.

@Chí i was actually only using that as an example, there’s so many examples of men being good at hiding who they are, my ex bf didn’t start hitting me til we moved in together - so i can tell you first hand they’re good at hiding who they are 👍never said mothers don’t experience it either lol but okay x

@Ellie I mean sorry that happened to you but comparing someone not reciprocating on plans and acting like a teenage boy with someone being abusive idk… I’d rather stay away from the subject. Like I said in this case it’s usually a mixture of “love is blind” and “love bombing” which are two very real and common reasons why people always say “this person changed down the line” - both men and women do it unfortunately.

Did you try to tell him exactly what you wrote here? If yes and nothing has changed then it won’t change that fast or ever. In that case take care of yourself and be happy again. xx