Struggling
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The battles with dressing and teeth etc are tough here too. It all seems so dramatic and really unnecessary! I haven't found any magic solutions but feel your pain! In terms of work, I've done a couple of KIT days recently which has helped me start to get in the mindset of going back in April. I've met the new staff that have started while I've been away, heard about some of the policy changes and talked through how the hand over of responsibility will work. If you can manage to do some, even one or two, it might reduce some of the isolation and work worries.
I remember feeling this way with my first! Also had a year off, no contact with work and a massive impending nursery bill to pull out of thin air (over £1000 😶). I got myself very worked up and stopped enjoying the last month or so of maternity leave because it was all I could think about. From what I remember we had troubles with dressing him etc for a good year or so during that very sweet but also very infuriating know their own mind but can’t talk or be reasoned with stage. My second is definitely starting to get to that stage now too especially with nappy changes and being carried. What’s easier this time though is that I know it does get easier. The money does sort itself out somewhere down the line and by the age of three they will be dressing themselves. Even work starts to feel like normal. Don’t beat yourself up for finding these weeks stressful, you are definitely not alone 🥰
@Kayleigh we’ve been through the whole universal credit application and had to wait a month for the decision on how much we’ll get only to find this week we that were entitled to nothing as we’re married which is so frustrating. I’m going back part time there’s no way I could afford full time nursery but even with her only going three days a week that will be my wages pretty much gone on fees.
@Norleen sadly I have no childcare until my daughter starts nursery when I’m due back at work. I asked them if I could do any KIT days remotely to catch up on all policy changes and the ridiculous amount of training and courses I’ve been bombarded with over the last year but I’ve been told I can only do them if I actually go in to school.
You dont get it because you are married? That's ridiculous! Unless it's due to the annual salary your partner has? My husband works full time but even taking his salary into account I would still be entitled to between £600-£700 which is just under what my mat pay was so were doing that. I'm sorry it's not help for you. Nursery fees are so expensive! Can you claim money back from it or have the funded hours? Or is that already factored in?
That's annoying and feels a little unreasonable! I'm in a school too and when it looked like the person due to babysit for me was too ill for them to have him my school said I could call in and collect marking to do at home that would count as a KIT day so I at least felt part of something. Its not like you wouldn't have something to show for your time spent.
@Kayleigh he earns just under £2000 a month so I’m guessing he must be above whatever is allowed. I’ve had no income since end of December and apparently his wage is enough to pay the mortgage, all the bills, the car etc and food for the month - not a chance! it’s all going on the credit card and we’re not able to clear it each month 😞 yeah we’ll be able to claim the funded hours but I’ve not been able to apply for my code yet as I don’t return to work for over 30 days so our first invoice for next month hasn’t had the funding applied. 😞
@Norleen I was hoping they’d let me do this too but it was a straight no. We’re part of an academy, I’m not sure if that’s why. There have been so many changes to curriculum and ways of doing things in school, a work friend was on mat leave at the same time as me but returned home n Jan and she said she was given no time out of class to complete training she’d missed and was thrown straight in at the deep end on her first day back. I’m dreading it.
I'm really sorry to hear that and I obviously don't know all the details but that doesn't seem right to me. My husband earns 1800 a month and we're entitled too it. It may be because you own your home or something because were renting, but that is absolutely rubbish. I'm so sorry 🫶🏻
I’m so sorry to hear this and it really is such a draining struggle, are you part of a union? I’ve had to go in very firm with my union rep by my side to have my flexible working in place when I return to work in April at school too. If you’d like to message me i am having a jungle theme little birthday for my 1 year old and can post out the decor to you after 6th April and you can use for your little ones big day too x
I could have written this myself. Not taking away from your experience by saying that just want you to know you are not alone. I spoke to my gp and she said PPD/PPA is really common around 10-12 months because there’s a drop in hormones - especially if youre breastfeeding and they’re having less now they’re having meals. Happy for you to pm me if you want to vent. X
@Zainab I am part of a union but I’m really wanting to avoid it getting to the point where I involve them. I know that’s what they’re there for in instances like this but with me already being so anxious about going back I don’t want it to cause any negativity between myself and work and make things awkward. Oh that’s so sweet of you to offer. We’re not going to do her a party I don’t think just hoping to have a family day out of circumstance allows nearer the time x
I can't help unfortunately but I in the exact same boat! We made the decision for me to not return to work and claim UC instead. I just have so much aniexty about everything and I'm struggling mentally so this was the best option for us. I was originally supposed to return but due to my company being taken over I was told I had to return as per my original contract aka full time. 80% of my wage would cover full time nursery fees so I quit.