Rant

Honestly . Post partum is hard. Everyone makes it seem so easy & like it’s this magical experience. It is all supposed to come naturally but for me I feel like it’s been one of the most challenging things I ever had to do. I know absolutely nothing and everything I thought I knew was wrong. I am struggling with waking up at night to pump and breastfeed. I constantly feel guilty for feeling this way because I love my baby but I’m exhausted mentally & physically. (my baby had a health complication) I’m a type A personality but I feel like I can’t control anything or schedule anything anymore. Not to mention the mom guilt is insane. Nothing I do feels good enough and I feel like this will never end. Baby is so tiny and I want to enjoy these moments but I’m so exhausted all the time that I just can’t. I question sometimes if I am meant to be a mom does everyone feel this much pressure to perform? Breastfeed on demand, pump to keep milk flow, formula feeding makes you feel bad, tracking diapers, waking up every 2 hours to breastfeed for an hour and then wake up again. Please tell me I’m not the only one who feels this way?

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Oh love, you’re not alone 🫶🏻 I honestly am struggling still with my 3 month old. I had to stop breastfeeding and pumping due to my lack of sleep/energy, and my mental health was declining so fast and quickly. I felt a SLEW of mom guilt that I couldn’t breastfeed. I felt like I should be able to provide my daughter at least milk cause I owe her AT LEAST that since she was a miracle her dad and I got blessed with. I still feel mom guilt for giving it up. But my boyfriend’s mom reminded me a fed and healthy baby and a rested and cared for mom is all that matters now. I’m still constantly reminding myself that. Breastfeeding is hard and every mom and baby are different when it comes to that part of yalls journey. And as for keeping track of diapers I kind of just stopped doing that and just tried to focus on if it mental checklist when my baby is crying. I start going through everything that could be happening or what she is trying to tell me through her cries. You got this momma! 🫶🏻

I’m still dealing with a lot of mental health issues through my postpartum journey. But I am happy to be available through DMs if you just need a listening ear or someone to talk to! You’re so strong and your baby loves you 🩷💙

The sleepless nights are so hard in the beginning 💗 I do promise that they get easier, and once you get used to it? They start sleeping longer. With my first the nighttime was the worse for me. My husband worked midnights and when cluster feeding came around I had to call him crying asking for him to come home. Which he did. Also you only have to pump if you need a stash in the freezer and/or giving bottles. If not don't stress on pumping and feeding. Also take time for you, give yourself that 30 min at night to shower and relax. Know that the dishes can be done later, it's okay to put chores on the back burner. If you need to just cuddle the baby, then lay down and cuddle the baby. I started co sleeping because of how exhausted I was after awhile because it was safer for us. Now with our second and co sleeping right of the back I am doing so better this time around. You will find what works for you 💗 it just takes time.

It’s difficult time and your doing the best you can . Keep on going it gets better

I feel the same way and eventually gave up pumping because I was loosing my mind (not saying you should, but that’s what I chose). Even after a year, the mom guilt is there but it gets better. Being type A is so difficult being a mom because you’re used to doing everything correctly and efficiently but it’s just not possible anymore. Once you get into a routine, you’ll feel better. Accept help from family and friends

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