Anyone else feeling frustrated by partner?
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My partner just started his new job about 2-3 weeks ago and the same thing was happening with me but then he offered to take the night with our son after he saw how sleep deprived I was. So he takes him 2-3 nights a week. Talk to him about doing the night shift on weekends or whenever he doesn’t work. He needs to also help because that might also cause issues between you two
I started pumping once a day to allow my partner to do an early morning feed which lets me sleep a little longer. Would something like that work for your family? Or maybe he could take the last feed at night and you could go to bed earlier? My husband also works, so he doesn’t help as much with feeds any more, mostly only on weekends
I get it. My partner also has his own room. He didn’t help at all the first month or so. The last couple weeks I have been making him Take her and step up and help. Can you just ask for what you need!? My partner takes her the first part of the night so I can rest then I do the last half. Not enough sleep but the 4-5 hours helps some
My partner started as semi the same. But then we agreed for him to take the later night (morning) shift which will be the time I get ready for work (starting next week) and it is mostly going well
We wake up together and split duties. So I’ll take on the feedings, then hand her off to my partner to handle diaper changes and burping. We also split a small shift just before bed sometimes. So let’s say he goes to bed early at 6. So from 6-10pm I have her, and he will rest. Then at 10 he grabs her and I rest until about 3am. Then we team work the final stretch of the night to get her back down to bed, sleeping together until about 7am. You’ve made it to day and each got about 8hrs. You could also try sleeping immediately when he gets home to get a little more sleep. Ofc the sleep will be scattered but it’s better than no sleep. I will say though that him not “helping” at all is unacceptable. He should not be “helping” take care of baby. He should be doing his duty as a father and partner to take care of baby and you. He should step up no excuse.
Same^^ my husband sleeps upstairs- which I’ll admit, I did suggest, but I just didn’t see the value in both of us being sleep deprived, especially since he’s working and I am not. So to combat the hours of sleep I lose being awake every night, he is responsible for getting everything ready for my night sessions (snacks, pumps, water bottle, making sure my diapers/ wipes are fully stocked etc) and he is also responsible for the baby’s 11:00 PM and 6 AM feed- I pump at night bc I just found this to be easier for us. With him taking up some of that slack, I can get some extra sleep. Oh- he’s also responsible for all things breast milk/ bottle. If I pump he’s bagging and tagging/ washing pumps/ bottles etc. He also takes the baby as soon as he’s off work so I can get some alone time then. He will take him for a drive or just hang out with him in another room so I can have some time to recoup. It’s really helped my sanity and I feel like it provides a good balance.
Something that has worked for my husband and I is to split the night shifts. He takes the 8pm-2am shift with the baby, while I sleep in a different room. Then from 2am-8am I’m with the baby while he sleeps, since he has to be up at 7am for work. That way he’s still able to get a solid 5 hours of sleep which is enough to get him through the work day. (We also have a toddler, who thankfully sleeps through the night. ) When he gets home from work he’ll also give me a break so I could shower and relax for a bit. This has worked really well for us so we plan on doing this at least until our baby is able to sleep longer stretches at night. It’s all about having healthy communication and listening to each others needs. You shouldn’t be having to take on everything on your own. You definitely deserve a break. I would suggest to talk to your partner about working something out that’s fair for you both.
My husband just went back to work too. His original night shift was until 2am, then I’d take over. Now his night shift ends at 10pm. I try to go to bed around 8 so I can get a little sleep in, but we have a 3yo as well so by the time he’s settled and I’ve just fallen asleep, I feel like my husband is handing me the baby. Like I get that you gotta be yo at 6 to get ready for work, but I gotta get up with both kids!
I raise the baby, but I also EBF so he honestly couldn't do much for her anyway. It was the same with my son. The Most important part to me was that when I needed him to take the baby, he took the baby. I don't mind since I'm home, he gives me any time I need if I'm running low on steam. Now with our second he has been handling our toddler and I get the baby. I've always communicated what I needed and he listens 💗
I've been with my baby day and night since she was born, up every single night. I've been asking her father to be with her at least one night so I can get some sleep but he doesn't either! He's unemployed lol.... I feel your frustration. But at least our babies know we're always there for them and we don't miss out on these precious moments of them being so small even though it gets overwhelming and exhausting with little breaks in between... we got this mama!