am i the asshole?

my husband and i got into a big fight this morning. i was exhausted and i needed 30 more minutes because my daughter woke up to feed at 1, 5, 7 and 8 in the morning. while he slept peacefully thru the night. it never bothers me that he does. i just ask in return for him to help with diapers or take her in the morning if i need a few more minutes of sleep. this morning he stayed next to me with her which was fine, but she was a little noisy and i couldn't go back to sleep. i said, "hey you know she likes to be walked around when she's restless like that, would you mind?" he gave me an attitude, we went back and forth and i gave up because i was just exhausted. then he told her, "you're mama is stupid right? isn't she?" i was starting to get upset but i literally just need a little bit of sleep. he got a full night of rest and i legit asked for 30 mins, that's it. she was quiet for a few minutes and then started doing it again and i was like, "now you're just being lazy, she wants to get up, so just get up." and mind you i only asked him to watch her for a little bit because he was already up for the morning. he wasn't still trying to sleep. he was just trying to stay in bed on his phone, which was also making it hard to sleep. after that we got into a really big yelling argument and then he left the room with her.

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and i forgot we lost an hour for daylight savings, so really i had even less sleep.

Um, the fact that he said that about you to your child is so fucked up. The rest of it I was like, yeah okay, that's annoying and I'd be irritated too but it just seemed like bickering. But as soon as I read that he told your baby that her mom is stupid?! Hell no. That's not okay. That's manipulative at best, and abusive at worst. Neither me nor my husband would ever speak negatively about the other like that, but especially TO our child.

Your partner is an arsehole!!! He should get up with baby, you shouldn't even need to ask, never mind you wanting an extra 30 minutes you should have as long as you need even if that's 2-3 hours it's his child too, some men are just discusting! Then he just lays there on his phone he sounds gross!

I would be enraged. Hes being a pos

No you're not in the wrong, fancy your partner telling your daughter horrible thing about her mother and you being made to feel lazy after doing all the night wakings and wanting a extra half hour in bed, that's not on. What a pig he sounds. Tell him to pull his weight and if he speaks to you like that show him where the door is. What a horrible person. An argument and explosive arguments with little one around is not okay and is no good for you or anyone, you need a nice man who doesn't abuse you and steps up to the mark

He's a twat, and I'd be fuming if my fiance said this to me.

I’d be fuming, my partner does half the night shift because he knows we both need to get sleep to function whether it’s working or looking after a baby!

@Cassiopeia This!

Love please talk to someone asap this is DV emotional abuse. You are not stupid. He is the dick asshole! Sorry but his "effort" isnt enough. Im so sorry your partner sounds very emotionally immature and hurtful and his behaviour and words are NOT ok. Please seek domestic violence counselling asap quietly and work with them on what you cab do. This sort of behaviour will usually only get worse esp if left unchecked and allowed. Hugs mumma. Honestly if my partner treated me like this id leave them. Life is too short to not be treated well and to not be a team. Parenting is hard and it only gets more interesting/ challenging as they grow and you have to navigate all the stuff as a TEAM.

@Cass EXACTLY!!!!

It's NOT fine he stayed in bed. Literally his only contribution is to take baby in the morning to let you sleep in. Staying in bed is not letting you sleep in.

@Ella exactly he should of taken baby got her changed ready teeth brushed hands washed hair brushed breakfast out for a walk

@Steamtrane Family the bare minimum is take her OUT of the room and play with her, keep her quiet so mum can sleep. And obviously feed and change nappy. If he ignores baby and just goes on his phone, including when he's taken baby out of the room.......he's just a neglectful parent.

@Ella exactly, seems like he can't be bothered to be a dad, only way to know is to have a good chat

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