Not breastfeeding and feeling awful

Just to say I had a similar experience, had a haemorrhage when I delivered my daughter and lost so much blood my milk was late coming in and then a very low supply. I was also on antibiotics for the first 6 weeks. I battled for 7 weeks doing a mix of BF and formula, trying to claw my way to EBF but the most I managed was about 60/40 breast vs bottle.In the end it was too much. During week 8 I think the stress culminated in my body making the decision for me and my milk dried up. I was devastated. At the time it felt huge. We’re now at 11 weeks and I already know it was the right thing - I feel better, baby is absolutely fine and the guilt has passed. It’s not like you are choosing to not BF because you can’t be bothered (and not doing it for MH reasons is valid too) - you literally cannot. Keep trying for as long as you want but not at the cost of your own sanity - the best thing you can do for your babe is look after yourself so you can care for them. Fed is always best x

I had an almost identical experience.. c section meant my milk didn’t come in until day 4/5 and baby had drank up all the colostrum so had to start on formula as he was hungry. Also had an infection by day 8/9 and was quite poorly so wasn’t able to ever really get going on breast feeding and although I wanted to combi feed it just wasn’t meant to be. I decided pretty quickly that he was happy on formula gaining weight and also needed to prioritise recovery from the infection so we went down the formula route. I’m sure you have done an amazing job with the combi feeding as it’s definitely not easy to do both and from experience I know how you must be feeling being on antibiotics and the recovery it’s a lot! As long as baby is happy, fed and full that’s all that matters and that we also do what is right for us as mums as well.

I really wanted to breastfeed but had multiple issues following an emergency c section and feeding was having a huge impact on my mental health. I felt so guilty switching to formula at 2 weeks and felt like I'd really failed as a mum as first I couldn't give birth to him naturally and then I couldn't feed him. Now I am so pleased I made the decision and switched. Both of us are so much happier and I know I've done my best for him. Definitely now on team fed is best.

Thank you all for sharing, it’s really reassuring that I’m not the only one who struggled with this x

I’ve had the same experience my lo is 5 weeks and I’m going to stop trying to pump the little amount I have been able to. I didn’t realise c sections did this. These comments have helped me too as I was feeling so bad I couldn’t produce enough, my little boy has been on formula from the beginning really due to infections following the section. He’s put on loads of weight and a really happy baby so I’m sure it’s ok. There’s so much around having to breastfeed etc, it’s hard to not feel like you’ve failed in some way. I actually feel a little ashamed when I’m out and I go to feed him formula when he’s still so tiny. Mad really.

I also feel like this @Aimee so I hear you! I wish they didn’t shame us so much for not being able to breastfeed.

There is absolutely no shame if you want to give up and your baby will have got amazing benefits for the BFing you’ve done so far! But if you don’t want to give up as it’s not clear from your post, please don’t be afraid to reach out for support - your local infant feeding team, any local breastfeeding charities, the national breastfeeding helpline etc x

Hi 👋 There may be a latch issue? I had this issue with my baby. There is the community breast feeding support or probably a feeding specialist at your hospital? I had a one on one with a band 7 to help with latching and getting more milk as my baby dropped 8% birth weight and didn’t gain and my baby wouldn’t take a bottle. Hospitals also have electric breast pumps that they can hire for a small charge. You could try skin to skin with your baby as the hormones oxytocin increases your production of milk. Just put your baby on you at the start for anything and even when they want soothing as that will also help bring in the milk. I also read that expressing between the hours of 1am - 5am as that’s when prolactin is at the highest and will increase milk production: when expressing, make sure breast are emptied and carry on expressing for a couple of minutes after the last bit of milk to increase supply. Hope this helps If it doesn’t work, don’t beat yourself up; you’ve tried but

A happy mum = a happy baby. As long as you’re taking care of your baby and feeding them, it doesn’t matter the method that you’re doing. It’s not easy breast feeding and it takes a lot of energy. Don’t beat yourself up and just enjoy doing other things, maybe even do skin to skin when bottle feeding for a further bond xx

I was in a similar situation 3.5 years ago with my first. She is a happy and healthy pre schooler now. I wish health professionals stopped treating breastfeeding as holy grail of child rearing. Breastfeeding doesn’t work out for many women and doesn’t give any guarantees that the children, then adults will be more healthy than formula fed babies! The only regret I have is that I spent so much time feeling guilty rather than enjoying my baby! Sending hugs

Aww you ladies are great and made me feel better, thank you all!

Can I just say that I would rather give birth all over again than do my breast feeding journey again, no one ever tells you how hard it is or how demoralising and demotivating it is when you are struggling or they are not latching on, your milk supply is low and on and on, you are made to feel like it’s the most natural thing in the world and that babies will just whack on your boob the moment they arrive and all will work smoothly and perfectly …. And then when that doesn’t happen you feel like a bag of shit , I have the breastfeeding team coming out every week to try and get my little one latching on and feeding properly but it’s so painful and so hard to get him on and then for him to have a full feed, so please don’t ever feel like a failure as long as they are getting fed are putting on weight and are healthy that’s the most important thing not however they are doing it, don’t stress and enjoy the time bonding with him 🥰🥰 your doing amazing!!

Thank you Laura and it sounds like you’re doing amazing too! 🥰