“My baby”

I hate it when my MIL calls MY daughter “my baby” it just makes me spiral idk why

@Kalie but what about if she’s referring to your baby as something other than baby, like my little angel or something, does that make you mad?

I feel that it’s weird that people get offended by this. Do you feel like someone is going to take your baby away from you? If not for that reason, I don’t understand why anyone would care. I love the people around me forming their own connections with my children. No one is claiming ownership of your child by saying “my” anything… so unless you feel like someone is trying to take your child from you or manipulate your child into thinking you’re not the mother, then it’s definitely bizzare to me. This is my personal opinion.

Still irritates me cause that’s not her baby, angel, love etc. did she make this child? No so it’s NOT her baby

I think it might be an “old people “ thing. I also feel mad if someone other than me or my husband calls our kids “MY BABY”. I would not feel mad if they would say “sweet pea” “cutie pie”…because babies are just so cute and everyone loves them but I think it is also mostly old people that say out loud like that.

I think I accidentally clicked the wrong answer on this poll 😩 But here’s my take- when family members say things like "my baby" or "our baby," it’s out of love and affection rather than trying to overstep. Grandparents and close relatives often feel a deep connection and express it in this way because they care so much. While it might not be how you’d word it, it’s usually harmless and not something to be upset about. It just shows how much they adore your little one!

My mom calls my daughter "my little princess" and its fine with me. As long as she doesnt try to say its her baby!

I think if you don’t really like someone, (and fair enough if she treats you bad) then sometimes whatever they say just grates on you. This doesn’t bother me personally as I just think it’s a loving thing to say and not literally about ownership. Not sure where you’re from but in some places it’s really common for families to refer to someone as our Sarah/ our kid etc. is there a bit of a culture clash? To me it’s just a familial thing and your mil is your daughter’s family. The grandparent relationship can be so special and your daughter is so lucky if she gets to have that. It doesn’t change the fact that you’re the mother, nothing is ever going to change that.

Don’t bother me at all. I didn’t grow up with a lot of pure consistent love. I love that my kids have people in their life who love them as their own and as much as I do. It is all our baby. It takes a village. And I have a very small one at that. Now if they were going around making it seem like it is literally their baby then obviously that’s weird but the phrase my baby alone does not make me feel any type of way.

Do you feel you get enough recognition for what you do as a mother? Do you feel respected as a mother?

If it's someone we rarely see, someone wh9 never asks about baby, or sends stuff for baby...don't call her your baby or my nothing 🤣 But my in laws call her their little girl and it warms my heart. They love her like she's theirs. She isn't biologically related to them as we used a donor and they always make comments about how much she looks like so and so in the family 🤣 . My closest friends refer to my baby as their baby or "titi's baby" and it's just that they love her. They know she's not actually theirs. No one ever really crosses a boundary for us either so maybe this could be part of it? No one is ever telling us what to do with her.

Let them be delusional, it’s your baby you know it is, just laugh and keep it pushing. This is the type of situation where you pick and choose your battles ya know? I do understand the frustration as I feel the same way but it’s really irrelevant. 9/10 people like that are just miserable narcissists trying to get a bite outta people. I like to leave a simple 😂 laugh if it’s a post and I just laugh right in they face if it’s in person and say “that’s cute ☺️ “ or “in your dreams ☺️” and be sure to purposely keep my child away from them and if they try to touch or speak to my child w/o my permission I will then raise my voice and ask”WDYTYD?! DTMC!” Their reactions are pricelessly comical. 😂😂😂🤭 I feel like saying “my” is only for folks in my inner circle and make a point to be in my children’s lives ya know?

I don’t mind it when my moms (who raised me) say my baby but if my biological mother said it it pisses me off cuz no ma’am she isn’t anything of yours just b happy u can c her. (She gave me up at birth cuz she loved getting high more) we have beef. But if anyone else says it idc at all I think it’s sweet that they care. I literally only care if my biological mother says it cuz I can’t stand her.

My daughter's grandmother with call her my princess sometimes but she's helped me raise her since she was a baby and that doesn't bother me. She's never used the term my baby because well she's not lol. Nicknames however I don't mind x

I call my nieces and nephew my girls and my boy… I’m not trying to be their mother, I know they’re not my children, it’s really not that deep

I like it. All my sisters and mom do it. It makes me really feel the love they have for my daughter and I know that obviously my daughter is actually MY baby and they know that too. No one is trying to take that from me. But I know that if I’m not there and they are taking care of her they love her enough to refer to her as theirs.

I think it all depends on your relationship with the person , in this case your MIL. Are you not close? Maybe if you polled everyone that said it makes them angry, they had a bad relationship with their closest blood relatives or MIL? My MIL says it more than everyone but my mum speaks less English and so doesn’t use ‘my’. its also a figure of speech in English i think, paediatricians and nursery workers have said ‘oh my darling’ ‘oh my poor baby’ to my kids when then cry

It bothers me when my MIL says ‘my baby’ because I dont like my MIL so a lot of things she does and says just causes me to feel annoyed

Tbh it doesn’t bother me at all, in the contrary it makes me happy knowing that my kids got people around them that love them like their own. And god forbid if anything happens to me I know they are in safe hands. Both my mum and MIL call my kids ‘my baby, my princess/prince etc. and I call my nieces and nephews my babies etc. but I know they aren’t mine. But it’s just expression of love and affection

When people say “my” in relationship, to whoever they are referring to, it almost implies ownership whether consciously or unconsciously. My brother in law used to constantly say “my wife” or “my son” when they were in the same the room. We finally addressed it, explaining that his wife and son were their own people and have names. Putting aside their relationship to him and removing the “my” also removes this ownership piece. Maybe sharing how it makes you uncomfortable and explaining other ways to refer to your baby that you would appreciate may help💜

It’s not that deep my mum says it about my boys and it’s never bothered me like I love the bond they have with grandma

I refer to my nieces and nephews when talking to them by saying “my baby” I don’t literally mean they are mine! I’m just saying it out of love…I don’t think your MIL is trying to claim your child. And I do have children of my own.

My MIL used to say “My Baby” a lot when it came to my Son. The time that really triggered me was when she said “My Baby is so perfect” then she looked me dead in the eyes and said “Maybe I should say ‘Our Baby’ “. It was this that confirmed she was aware of the fact she was saying it, and from that day on I told her I found it weird. She would even insist that my Son was calling her “Mama” whenever he was saying it to me and would try to take him from me. “Mama’s here. My sweet boy”. My case might not be the same as everyone’s, but my annoyance at her saying it is justified. She still tries it to this day and he is now old enough to correct her. He will tell her she is “Not Mummy” and push her away. No one else has ever referred to him as “My baby” but that would probably bother me, too.

My kitchen staff calls my 7 month her baby. She will tell me “hug my baby for me” she has met him and adores him, asked about my breastfeeding, bought him a shirt, etc. his grandmother also calls him that and she is amazing towards him. Maybe it is rooted in how much someone actually likes the person calling their baby that? I see no harm in these two people saying this about my son but if my own mother were to I would not be happy

@Jodi Yess exactly that’s the reason for some, others will literally do it to try to piss you off or cause trouble and 9/10 it’s not usually someone you’re close with.

@Shaq reading that made my blood boil for you! If my MIL ever said that my mouth would move before my brain and god only knows what would come out of it🤣🤣

@Becky It was the audacity for me. So backhanded that even my Partner was forced to acknowledge that she was crossing the line. She has already started with the whole “We” thing now that she knows about baby number 2. “Why aren’t we finding out the gender? We would be so much better off if we knew what we’re having”

@Shaq NOOOO!! Thats crazy🤣 I’d be like are you on the birth certificate what do you mean WE 🤣🤣

@Becky I’m sure she would find a way 😭

@Sorrel no I don’t by them and then also she’s always trying to tell me how I’m doing things wrong or how I should do them but in a way where it’s like other people wouldn’t think it’s rude but since it happens so much it is rude

Unfortunately it’s normal. I don’t mind when my mom does it but that’s only bc she begged for grandkids ever since I got married. His mom told me I should never have a baby with him and when I got pregnant she acted all excited and the first time she said “I can’t wait to meet my baby” and “let me see my baby” (on ft) I flipped the camera to my husband and I said there’s your baby. When she got mad and said u know what I meant. I said no.. unless you meant MY baby

In my culture, it’s normal. Grandparents treat grandchildren as if it’s their children too. Same with uncles and aunts, we have terms such as my daughter and my son.. we don’t see it as claiming that child, we see it as accepting that child with love the same way they love their own children.

I don't care! It's endearing, why does it enrage you so much?

@Eviee I can agree with that. I feel like if the mother doesn’t like it she doesn’t really like the person and if a person does it who is trying to get at the mother they say it in a type of way 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think its really sweet. I also think that you feel that way because of how you feel about your boyfriend’s mom. You said she treats you bad-ish, of course certain things like that about her will annoy you.

Idk I think you might be reading too much into it. Sounds like she just loves her grandchild. This is how drama starts id leave it alone. Also what's wrong with women saying "my baby?"

I personally don't understand why this bothers people 🤷‍♀️

Your MIL definitely knows what she’s doing! It’s sounds very frustrating and annoying, especially if you’re saying she kinda already treats you bad.

I think it's just another pet name that people use and it doesn't mean anything. But then there's are a lot of conniving and jealous mothers in older generations who like to compete with their daughters, so I could see it being used that way as well.