Am I insane to want another?

I am in a hurricane of confusion in my brain 😭 I have a 2y3mo girl and a 10mo boy and I actually think I want another. I don’t know why 😭 we had said we wanted to stop when we had the second, partially because I was diagnosed with AuDHD in October 2024, and also because I had postpartum depression after my girl which probably isn’t fully gone. I was so adamant after my son that nope I’m done now I’ve my two and that’s all I need. Mentally I have suffered throughout parenthood, especially with overstimulation and in my head I didn’t think I could cope with one more. I now don’t know. I’m seeing so much online about all the good stuff, you know like the positive test the joys of pregnancy and having the babies but then I remind myself how crippled I was on both pregnancies (10lb1oz and 9lb3oz) and how much I struggled with the overwhelm of the newborn life, especially with my son who had colic. There is so much to consider in a decision like this, and my husband works 7am to 5pm with an hour journey either side, and I do struggle with the likes of bedtimes and naps when I’m on my own so I’m constantly in need of a partner be it my husband or mother in these situations. But the yearning for another is killing me, and I kind of miss the anticipation of testing. I can’t figure out if I really do want a third or am I wrapped up in romanticising the idea? My son is only now getting to be that bit more independent, as am I, and I’m still trying to find myself after having kids so why am I considering going back into that cycle? I’ve also had issues with my hormones which luckily didn’t affect my fertility just yet, but what if I started trying again and it does become an issue? I’ve also been so lucky to not experience any loss in my pregnancies so I’m petrified that if I try now I could experience it. I actually can’t stop my brain racing (ADHD joysss) and now I don’t know how to calm down. HELP 😭

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Im sorry I don’t have an answer but just know you’re not alone I feel like I could have written this myself I’m not diagnosed audhd but I do have adhd I might have the Au part never been tested for it. Anyways besides the point. I just completely relate I always wanted 6 kids and after having my second I was completely overwhelmed with everything and overstimulated all the time I started thinking maybe I couldn’t handle another. And now my second is almost 6 months and the baby fever creeps in. But I get it. Do I really want another or am I fooling myself?

Those newborn trenches are so hard but it's amazing when you start getting something back.... but thats then when the baby fever kicks in and you kind of forget how hard it was. The way I would think of it is that if I cant show up and be the best version of a mum I can be to my 2 current children because I've gone through the cycle of having another, knowing how much I would struggle through pregnancy then with the trenches, it just wouldn't be fair on the babies I already have or the people I ask for extra support as they also need to live their lives. I think be the mum you want to be to the babies you already have, and think about the effects on them should you have another...that's when you'll get your answer as to whether this is right for your family or not xx

@Kaila I love the little adhd tangent at the start that’s so me 😂 our brains are out to get us and it’s literally only us that can make the decision 😭

@Laura this put into words exactly what I needed and exactly why I had said I’m done at two. I felt so separated from my first at the start and honestly I couldn’t do that to her again and to my son too. This helped so much thank you ❤️

I always said I’d be a one and done girl, then had my second, and now I have the feeling I’m not finished yet. Doesn’t help that I’ve absolutely loved every second of the newborn and baby stage this time and the idea of never doing it again hurts my heart so bad. But I’ve made the decision to park it, had a coil fitted to stay in for 5 years and that’s taken the decision out my hands for now. In 5 years hopefully I’ll be more settled in my decision either way, and less influenced by postpartum hormones! x

@Sophie that’s the thing I got my coil fitted last November so November 2029 I’ll be 34, if I want one then I have to do it then (in my head) if I don’t then that’s decision made 😂 I know I can get it taken out but still 😂

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