New born, and toddler.....feeling drained, no village

I have a similar age gap, my daughter has just turned 2.5Y. I find the days hardest when I don’t have anything planned because she is under stimulated and wants a lot more from me. Same if I do too much screen time on my tired days. We go for a walk nearly every day, in a double pram. Otherwise she is in the single pram and baby in the carrier. We try plan some outings for the week. If I’m doing cooking, baking or cleaning, I try get her involved where possible. Or read a book to the baby, show him some toys etc. I know it can be difficult but these things generally help the day feel easier ❤️

Just to add, if I’m planning a full day at home, I plan specific activities and plan the day by the hour (obviously flexible). For eg. 8am wake up, 9am breakfast, 10am activity one etc, One week will be learning the alphabet, so will sing out ABCs, do a match the sticker to the letter and so on x

@Jess can I ask what double buggy do you use ? I still did not get one...my small baby is almost 6kg, and is hard to keep him in the carier for too long...another thing my toddler does not like to stay too long in the buggy...but if I let her out she not gonna follow me, so is really hard for me to go alone with them...I just feel like in prison... Is good to have a routine, but I am so low in energy...I feel so bad for not doing much with them...just necessary like changing, feeding , bathing I know my toddler is bored, she is so active and I am just on surviving mode :((

We have an ABC zoom, it’s very spacious and comfy for my toddler but is long! We got it off Facebook marketplace as I wasn’t sure my daughter would be keen and didn’t want to waste too much money, but she gets very excited about sitting with her little brother. We made a bit of a thing about it to get her hyped up. My little boy is also over 6kg and I find the ergobaby omni mesh 360 great. He is a very relaxed boy though. I used it for my daughter until she was about 15-17 months old. I know what you mean, it’s so stressful when you go out and they decide to run!! Can you try places where it’s more okay for her to run/ learn, like the park or farm? It’s hard to find the energy! I actually feel so much more drained on the days I’ve tried to relax/ not plan anything as the mental side can be a lot. And then me feeling guilty my daughter is bored. I try plan really easy activities and we don’t always do them if we’re having a bad day for any reason.

Don’t feel bad, it’s all very new, we’re sleep deprived and it sounds like you’re doing your best! It’s just getting in a new swing of things, adjusting to two. It will get better once you see what does and doesn’t work 🫶

I don’t have any advice but just wanted to say that i’m in the exact same situation with my 10 week baby and 2 and a half year old boy. We’ll get through this (i hope)!

Have you tried reins for your toddler? You can get a rucksack with reins to stop them running off?

I have a 2 year old and 8 week old. We go stir crazy if we don’t go out everyday. I don’t have a double buggy, I pop baby in carrier, push the buggy for my 2 year old but he normally walks most of the way beside me. Can you teach your toddler to hold your hand? Failing that pop her on some reins so you don’t have to run after her x If we’re having a hectic day and my toddler is demanding I chuck him out in the garden with a rainsuit and wellies and let him get filthy dirty digging and playing with water. He will be out there for hours and it burns off all his energy. Screen time makes him go loopy in the house so we keep it short and low stimulation shows x

@Lauren we did it when she was smaller and she goes mad about this , now she is 2 it will be hundreds times worse with the tantrum she gonna through about reins

@Ceri we will try to go out with her without a buggy next time when my partner with me... to teach her to follow us....the problem is we live in a busy part of city , lots of people and cars, even if she will be fine to follow me still I will be super anxious

Definitely hold hand or reins then, I never trust my toddler to follow unless we are in a park x

@Ceri yea, they are very unpredictable:) x