I’m drowning in postpartum depression and I wish I had a best friend for times like this 😔 (long vent)

I’m 24 years old and I have a 5 year old daughter, an almost 2 year old son, and a 3 month old daughter. I lost my job last week, got married 3 days ago (was already planned), it’s so hard to find an apartment and I’m living with family, I’m failing college, and I’m absolutely drowning in postpartum depression. I think about suicide and cutting myself again often. I feel like I’m not a good mom, I’m separating myself from God, I feel like I can never catch a break, and I don’t even have words for how I truly feel. I just sit in my room and cry. The only way I get through life now is by telling myself “in another life after I die God will put me back on this earth and I’ll be happy” and drinking wine literally all day long. I’m an introvert and it’s so hard for me to make girlfriends… the only friend I have I’ve known since I was 3, but she has a husband and 3 kids now so I don’t talk to or see her anymore. At this point, the cries for help aren’t working and talking to a therapist is pointless. These days I wish I would just fall asleep and not wake up because I know if you take your own life you go to hell… let it happen naturally so I can make it to heaven to watch over my babies 🙁

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you are not alone . i’m driving from church so i can’t respond like i would love to , but i’ll friend you because id love to speak with you some day . would you believe me when i tell you : i can relate and i understand ? well , i have a friend in me + id love to have a moment with you *

I’m in the Philly area. I’m much older but you can reach out

Please know you’re worth so much more than you believe. I am so sorry you’re feeling this way. I suffered tremendously with it. It does get better. Hang in there 💕

Wow that’s a lot, I’m over here on the edge and I only have 1 child 🥲 community is big for post partum. I personally didn’t go through it but in psych class we learned about positive psychology and meditation. Every day write down your strengths, it can be simple like taking your kids to the park (when weather permits). I imagine it’s hard to find your own time when you have this many kids to give yourself to, again, I can’t even find the time.

I’m in my 30 and although not the same thoughts definitely have been having different levels of anxiety and emotions. Highly recommend looking at what birth control you may be on and if that can help but definitely talking to someone as your not alone in these thoughts and emotions just not talked about enough. Remember your strong heck I have 1 kid so just remember to breathe and know you are not alone

Magnesium complex helped me recover from my postpartum depression. I started taking it daily back in February and now I feel so much better. It helps our bodies absorb VitaminD which many of us are deficient which causes depression symptoms. It won’t change your situation but can definitely be a step forward in feeling better within yourself. It also helped me get my first good night of rest in the past 4 years lol

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