Over this breastfeeding

I can't relate personally as it's been a long time since I breast feed but I can imagine how difficult this is. I hope things get easier for you and little one xxxx

My son is still breast fed and to be honest, I have had this feeling a few times however just before he got to 18 months I said enough was enough and I cut off that constant supply. Especially because I became a single mum earlier in that year, if he was attached to the boob 24/7 I would really struggle to do anything and his naps were the only time I could rush and get everything done but the moment I needed the toilet or just to breath, he threw a fit! I woke up one morning, let him have his usual morning milk upon waking and then i set out to do breakfast. Every time he would try and get boob I would try and distract him and if all else failed I would have to get up and walk out (he will be ripping at my top to raise it!). I quickly found giving a snack when he did this was enough distraction and in no time I was getting lunch ready anyway. I would give him milk just before nap and when he wakes up from nap then the same thing… distract until bedtime and snack then night milk.

He quickly learned that this is when he should expect milk, he knows now that he doesn’t get milk in the day unless he is going to sleep or just waking up, and even then, on Wednesdays because we have to travel an hr to his gymnastics I often have to get him up and ready to leave the house with no milk and as long as I’m quick in the way I do everything, he doesn’t notice. He did get RSV over Christmas though, stopped eating briefly and I decided okay this one time I will give you milk in the living room for comfort and some nutrients. He really wasn’t sick that long and I didn’t continue this for long either however I quickly noticed he started grabbing my shirt up, throwing and tantrum and all sorts all over again because I refused.. it took a day or two of not giving in for him to stop and go back to normal so I will say, be persistent! Set your boundaries and stick to it because the moment you give in, they expect it full time and I don’t think they fully understand.

@Tara thanks its driving me up the wall always attached to me

@Shay yeah I've tried everything with this little one but it not work. His melt down are out of this world. Never ad a child or saw a child like him. Even with destruction he still hands down my top or up it to try and get it. If we out and about he's often not top bad he will try and get at me but rare. This illness he been worse then ever he not eat much so using breast milk too get his belly full.but he not nap with out breast there sleeps with ut in his mouth so I can't move or do anything. He's behide on a lot of his development so his understanding is less then most children and stuff so it a little harder then it was with any off my other children. His demands are alot higher. We are hoping to get an early Autism diagnosis x

@Paula what makes you think he is autistic and what is he behind in? Do you have a partner helping you out? If so, use it to your advantage, when he gets to the point of pulling your top up/down or putting his hands up there, hand him over, or put him down, get up and walk away. Like I said I had to physically keep getting up so he couldn’t even reach my top. My son also use to sleep with the boob in his mouth 24/7 too.. then when my ex finally left I had to nip it in the bud once and for all as I had to get up and get things done. He was about 8 or 9 months old then and it felt like it took so long but I’d have to unlatch him quickly once he hit deep sleep (for my son at that time I worked it out to be the 20 min mark) and I’d lay still for a moment so he goes back into deep sleep, I then slowly and quietly rolled away leaving him. Sometimes he would stay asleep for only 5 mins but others I got away for 15-20 before he woke again for boob!

It was very repetitive, it took a lot of time and patience on my part to get him to slowly adjust to the change. Had to use pillows pushed aside him to make him think it was me and eventually I got a sound machine as even the slightest sound would wake him up. For him I learned to just be stern and persistent however I was alone and didn’t have the ability to hand him over and walk away (which many do just to stop breastfeeding all together). Once he gets over his illness, slowly start to nip it in the bud, he is only using it for comfort (when he is not sick and needs to keep hydrated and get nutrients). I also stopped feeding him in public early on after weaning as he would just drop himself down to boob level demanding but he would often latch off to look around so he didn’t actually want it. Luckily for my son however, rocking him with back patting helps though

@Shay he is deffo autistic, ( strong family history) he behide in speech, mental wellbeing must congnegative things his melt down his danger awareness way he just is. He not give people eye contact is very reserve sored very high on his last check up with what the health visitor said strong red flag. His lack of sleep and ability to stay asleep we've just white noise machine since he was 8 wks old he draining and no it me and him most day and if he don't get it his melt downs are next level not a case of detractipn with him as he dnt understand he'll also hurt himself or me if he don't get it. So as it stand he can have it when he needs it for his comforter and reassure we try and stop once he is two

@Paula it’s really strange a health visitor would give any comment or rate him high on anything at such a young age. A lot of things they do at this age which are autistic traits when older, is totally normal at this age. They have real hard time distinguishing the difference in these age groups and even so, they would refer him to the appropriate people to do that scoring and actual checks so that if he does in fact have autism, they can catch it early. At this age, they have crazy melt downs, they don’t have any sense of danger, a lot of boys especially if not in nursery have speech delays (my son doesn’t speak AT ALL). Many people use white noise machines from birth, the whole point is that it helps them sleep and is meant to replicate the noises heard in the womb (my son sleeps way better with his machine than without it but I don’t keep it on all night). Part of toddler tantrums is also them hurting themselves and others as they don’t know what to do with their emotions..

@Shay as I would agree with most of what u say yes tranmu are normal. But to where a child as exssive melts down are not so normal a child would carm dwn with in 30 mins. My child can scream for 5 hrs straight. A normal child of his age of have sleep issues would wake 2 times 3 at tops my son wakes 10 to 15 times a night, take an hr to settle to sleep then will wake every 20 to 30 mins and fake 10 to 30 mins to resettle not normal behavior, not talking is a a red flag, as well as not showing eye contact not smiling when he's smiled at clingy to my leg when people he knows comes in. Not able to follow simple instructions they is alot going off to why the health visitor said at his age they is red flag with in his development which would point yo my concerns. We had speech therapy say she thinks he's on the spectrum Dr's say the same. Peds want 3 mo they obs doing which health visitor on dr are doing. So yed I agree with u. But a mother knows there child. And he behavior his learning is well different 2 other

His eating object he shouldn't is a red flag like he eat anything and everything bite and wall head bang bounces all the time. Foot stamping when he stressed chewing at his cloths when routine changes. They alot that makes everyone who's met him say them same thing. Thanks for your support yho

@Paula I wish you had more commenters on here but I do agree with you that a mother knows their child and when there is something not quite right so that’s all that matters I guess. My son also eats everything, like literally I haven’t met any other kid like him so far! And as for the sleeping he was also exactly the same! I had to put so much work into stopping him from waking up non stop in the night it was crazy. I do also agree every child is very different! My mum found me really stressful to deal with growing up so I was practically raised by my grandma because I wasn’t as easy as my older sister! Ultimately I think if you have all these medical people in your sons care, then maybe they would be the best people to go to for the support you need because no matter the advice given on here, like you said, none of it is going to work for your child so hopefully they will be able to find something for you soon. I wish you luck