Nursery advice
Show your support
Exactly. I’m thinking wouldn’t it be better to stay and let her go explore but she knows im there. It’s a new environment and I’m not there surely that’s too much. I did say to them like can I just go out for 10 mins and then come back and was told that can confuse them more but I honestly think it’s better if I’m there for a while
Yeah I agree.And you know best as her Mum.To be honest I think the nursery staff often want to do what's easiest for them (I say that as someone who has worked at a nursery in my late teens!) But we are their advocates and nursery's should be working flexibly with us.Luckily our local nursery seems to work quite well with the parents but they all have different policies as they're all private (mostly)
Neither of my boys had been apart from us at all before starting nursery. And I haven’t stayed for either of my boys’ settle sessions- I know there will be mixed opinions on that, and no, I haven’t felt totally at ease leaving them when they aren’t familiar etc. but it’s worked fine for both of them and the nursery js great at communicating and reassuring. They have both quickly learnt that I always come back for them, that their needs can be met by other people when I’m not there, that the adults around will care for them and provide comfort, that they can have fun. Has it been instant? No. And would they have preferred me to stay, yes probably. But the transition has to come sooner or later, and personally, speaking only for me and my children, I think getting settled at nursery thinking it’s a place I come to with them, and then having to ultimately still do the separation bit anyway wouldn’t have been easier. I always say goodbye, I never sneak away, I think that’s important.
Thanks for your reply. It’s good to get different opinions
We went with a childminder. X she wouldn't settle in nursery... turns out there were several issues with the nursery. Our childminder is great! She takes them to safari, playgroups and fab days out, like the ice cream farm...
When we did the settle sessions my LG started ok and then got upset by the 3rd session. I was told it's normal as she was learning I was leaving and coming back. The most I left her before nursery was 30 minutes with her dad. She'd never been to any baby groups, pretty sure she had no clue other children existed 🤦♀️🤣 She's been to nursery since January and loves it, 3 day per week
@Claudia how long did it take her to settle,would you say?
@Laura 2 weeks but completly at the end of the 3rd. She never cried histerically but she got teary a few times through the day and the mandatory cry at drop off. They always told me once she was distracted with a toy, she stopped crying.
It does take time to settle in but they get there in the end
My little boy is a very sensitive soul and it took a whole month of settles for him to feel secure but he loves it now. He still gets a little upset when I drop him off but he settles very quickly. I was beside myself how upset he would get at drop off but I’m so glad I persevered as he loves it and the nursery were amazing taking it all at my sons pace. I’m sure your little one will be ok it’s just a lot to adjust to all round for both you and bubba. With my son and I - I always make sure I do the same thing every time I go e.g kiss on the cheek, ‘have a lovely day, see you later, love you’ etc and that now links in his head that I’m coming back so it’s ok. Also does your little one have a comforter or anything? My son takes his ‘Ellie’ elephant comforter with him every time he goes and that has helped loads. Hope that helps a little 💕
She does have a comforter but it’s more for bed time. She is doing another settling day tomorrow. Since doing these settling in days she had just generally become more clingy even when her dad takes over to put her to sleep she will cry a little when I leave. I feel like the whole experience has made her terrified that I will leave her. I will persevere but it’s so hard x
@Hannah bless you honestly I’ve been there and thought I’d made the wrong decision. I picked him up from one settle and he was so distressed he vomited there and then which was heartbreaking. That’s when the nursery agreed to take it at his pace e.g. try leaving him for an hour, then two, then three and eventually he realised I was coming back and started to love it. It will get better I promise but I know how hard it is and it’s so horrible totally get that. Have you got any home comforts she can take with her to the nursery at all like a soft toy she likes for example? If you keep it near you then it will smell of you and maybe a comfort to her? Just a thought. Thinking of you it’s so so tough I really empathise x
I'm looking for thoughts on this too as our LG has only ever been at home with us or with my Mum for a few hours here and there and I know she will be the same when we put her in nursery in September!I am going to speak with the nursery tomorrow to register her and I was going to suggest letting me stay with her for one hour every day for a week or so before leaving her there alone.I know the nursery will probably roll their eyes and think I'm being too precious about it but I can understand why not being able to find your Mum and being left with , essentially, strangers would be scary for a baby who can't talk yet!