Breastfeeding struggles/newborn trenches
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Okay that's a lot to be feeling and going through, especially feeling so alone. Speak to your health visitor, your GP, your midwife, just someone to talk about the impact on your wellbeing. It is clear that breastfeeding is important to you, but rest is important too. I really wanted to breastfeed with my first. He wouldn't latch and so I was like, okay, I'll pump. Then I would be able to pump once a day! Because between trying to rest, change nappies, feed for an hour, wash bottles etc I could only find 1 hour a day to do it where he didn't want holding. I gave up personally and it felt like such a load was lifted. Yes it cost money, but my rest was worth it. I wasn't eating or drinking enough to produce enough anyway as I was putting everything else ahead of me
My 2nd was born at the beginning of march and I tried breastfeeding again. Again I had another child who wouldn't latch. Whilst I was in the hospital I asked for assistance in trying for the first couple of days at every feed but he would get it in his mouth and just scream instead of latch. I had already decided it was nipple or nothing and so I went straight to formula and I feel so much better for it earlier. This might not be the right decision for you too, but resting and looking after you might just be the best thing for both of you. Could a less stressed more rested mum be a better solution than breast milk? Or even a couple of feeds to take the pressure off of you? Whatever you decide, you are doing an amazing job. You care about your child so much and just want what's best for them. That's such an amazing thing that not all children get. Just wanted to share my story as fed is always best
Really sorry to hear that. You are not alone. Mine was not as traumatic however it did take 96 hours and ended in a C-section which I’ve had complications from alongside looking after my 3 week old baby. Know that this too shall pass.. it gets easier, I promise! A lactation consultant will be amazing help. Also I would say at some point you need to do what’s best for you and baby. Breastfeeding is a learning process- I am still learning and so is my little one and some days my nipples are just so sore and I’m so sleep deprived that I give her bottle instead with the goal of moving towards more and more breast feeding. Post partum depression is also a very real thing and the way to control my baby blues has been to sleep as much as I can with the baby for which again, giving her the bottle some of the nights has been very useful for as she sleeps longer on formula. Your milk supply will keep increasing if you still offer breast- my milk supply is still growing nearly 4 weeks in
I’ve been through something really similar and can relate to you so much. I was induced two weeks early and it ended in a cesarean also (although not an emergency and so not at all as traumatic as what you’ve been through). The fact that baby came early, via c-section, plus he was quite jaundiced meant that my milk supply was not enough for him plus we had difficulty latching. He lost 13.4% of his birth weight at just 60 hours old and we were put on the same triple feeding plan you were (initially using donor milk as top up, then switching to formula top up). My baby had difficulties latching and got really upset and frustrated when BF, as though he wasn’t getting enough or had to work too hard for a small amount. We spent 6 days in hospital after he was born and it was utterly exhausting, physically and mentally. We were sent home and I used the hospital grade electric pump to continue with the feeding plan but I found it so difficult to find the time to fit it in…
Sorry it’s worth mentioning that I also have flat nipples and it’s totally possible even without the nipple shields. Try and work with a breastfeeding consultant.
I was also only getting 20-30ml per pump session. Gradually we transitioned to being fully formula fed, it was almost a subconscious thing although I knew deep down BF wasn’t going to work out for us. I felt so disappointed and it still makes me sad, he’s 3 and a half weeks now. What makes it worth it is seeing him thriving on formula, his weight is steadily increasing, I’m not as exhausted, my husband can help with feeds, baby is satisfied and full. All of this for me outweighs the sadness I feel about breastfeeding not working out for us. Hope this makes you feel less alone in everything. Please feel free to message me! Good luck with whatever you decide to do. You’re super strong either way xx
You’re doing a fabulous job and keeping a tiny human going after having such a difficult time getting them here is so hard - but you’re doing it! Whatever you decide with regards to feeding - do what’s best for you. I had a similar experience with my little lady - she was so mucousy and did not latch at all. We formula fed her in hospital and it really helped clear up the mucous but she still found it so hard to latch. I pumped in hospital and then when I got home (I was terrified to try her on the boob when I was home as she’d get so frustrated and upset). We stuck with doing combo feeding and it’s worked well. I kept going with the pumping but it felt like a second job and was so difficult to juggle alongside cleaning the parts, feeding her, changing her, looking after me etc. I eventually tried nipple shields which helped get her on but still top her up with formula. I also pump once during the night for 15-20 mins so I don’t feel so engorged, as we formula feed during the night….
…so she stays fuller for longer and I can get some rest!! So ultimately I’m doing pumping, formula, and direct from the boob, which for me I don’t see as being sustainable for much longer. But it’s what’s right for us at the moment and when I need to I plan on dropping feeding her from me and just pumping when I can. I’ve given her my best and she’s had the benefits from what I’ve been able to provide and that’s more than enough - try to take that pressure off yourself - you are doing an amazing job and baby is lucky to have a mummy like you. Get all the support and advice you can from professionals and your partner - but you & your recovery are just as important so you can carry on being a great mum!! X
Please be kind to yourself. Traumatic births and postpartum period can be extremely difficult to navigate separately let alone together! (my first birth was very difficult but not as traumatic as yours and I definitely struggled with undiagnosed PPD). Remember you HAVE to put yourself first- e.g eating/ drinking. It might seem awful to put baby down crying to eat but you have to look after yourself in this period to recover (especially if you’re wanting to breastfeed as it’s exhausting and your supply will drop). Try to have things you can just grab near by (snack bars/ pre made sandwiches/ microwaveable meals save the day when you have a Velcro baby). I am also triple feeding with my second (on midwives advice) and I’ve basically all but stopped pumping (now using formula for top ups) as it’s just unsustainable both time/ exhaustion wise. Take everyday at a time, if you have anyone you can ask for support from please do. 🩷 you are doing amazing!
I’m so sorry you’re going through so much. I had mine on the 16th and I was absolutely thrown by the hormones, my crying, the sleep deprivation etc and I haven’t been through half as much as you have. I also don’t have family local and it is so overwhelming. My only advice is to keep persevering with the breast feeding, offer it every 2 hours in the day, wake him up with a nappy change before hand, really try and stimulate your boobs to produce the milk. If he’s feeding hourly then I can’t see you having an issue, and 5% weight is amazing. If it doesn’t work out in a week or so, then you know you’ve done all that you can and you can’t beat yourself up over that. I just can’t believe people don’t talk about these new born days more, I literally had no idea how hard this would be - be kind to yourself!