Potty/nappy meltdowns
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Sounds like he’s maybe now really starting to get it so he’s getting himself a bit confused. Maybe time to either take a week off, clear the diary and fully commit to pants and everything in the potty or to put the potty away and not try anything at all for a little while until you feel 100% confident that he’s ready.. and then fully commit. He’ll know if you’re not sure x
Where do you keep the potty? Maybe a change of location would help? We have a seat in the bathroom but also have a potty in her play area which is what she uses most of the time as we just play/read while she uses the potty so it's really low pressure x
@Becky they definitely seem to go through phases don’t they. That's exactly it, I don't want to push him when he's not ready. I've tried a different brand and size in case it was that but no luck!
@Sophie he would find that approach really stressful which is why we've gone for the gradual approach. I suppose I could put the pottys away. He's definitely ready, I just think probably a bit confused and freaked out x
@Rachel we have one in each bathroom and we sometimes bring one in his room. Yeah we never put any pressure on him. For months he's just been sitting on it his room whilst playing/reading. Then we started having the pottys in the bathrooms to build the association with going to the toilet, and he loved going in there, "wiping" (he would pretend to), washing his hands etc. All lead by him with no pressure x
I really recommend reading this book. Tiny potty by Andrea olson. Its a v quick read and goes over some things to avoid doing which don't help. The first time my boy touched poo by mistake he was so scared by my reaction telling him "no don't touch that" that he didn't poo in the potty again for a month lol (even thouhh i was super gentle). but he was 12 months so it was not a huge issue. Do you show him your own poo to show there's no shame in it? There's absolutely no problem doing a proper potty training experience at this age. I am so much more relaxed now that it's done and he understands way more now as well and says poopoo. No more nappy fights I would just say go for it but follow a book method rather than winging it and hoping for the best as a lot can go wrong as well if you wing it.
If he stands up too early and wasn't done yet, no big deal just lift him by under armpits (while the wee is ongoing, called "airlifting") and put back on potty say wee goes on the potty, you weren't done yet. This still happens to mine sometimes after he's had a huge drink and so wee is bigger than usual and didn't realise he wasn't done yet. We did potty training experience 3 weeks ago at 17.5mo and he even stayed dry and went on potty when my mum babysat yesterday for 5 hours.
BTW the book also says that children need consistency so a gradual approach may seem gentle to you but from the child's perspective is actually confusing. Like do you want me to save my waste for the potty or not? It also says putting on potty when you're not sure if they need to go is a bad idea, you need to be sure they need to go so they can associate sitting there with actually eliminating. Makes a lot of sense if he stood up the first time that he weed because you've got him used to sitting there without weeing. So he may have thought he did something wrong as its just a chair for him until now. The oh crap book I read that as well and it also says the same thing, it recommends not sitting on potty before actual potty training as potties should only be used as a potty for active eliminating and not as a chair or toy etc. Of course you're welcome to disagree and your child your choice of method but seeing as you asked for input this is my 2 cents and our approach was gradual too but
I waited for him to consistently wee each time I put him on before i increased the number of times per day that I put him on, to make sure he got the association that sitting there is for eliminating. So we also did it gradually over 6 months but in a different kind of way.
@Alex I’ve had a look at that book but it’s not the approach we want to take. When my boy grabbed his poo I didn’t actually tell him no don’t touch that, just said “let’s get you cleaned up”. He comes into the bathroom with me every time I poo but I don’t think he’s actually looked at it thinking about it. I know there’s no problem doing that but it’s not the approach for us. We’re not winging it? We’re taking an approach that works for us.
@Alex yeah he would not react well if I did that.
@Alex we are being consistent though. Just because we’re taking it slow doesn’t mean we’re not being consistent. I never put him on the potty. At this stage we let him choose when he wants to sit on it. It’s always there so the option is there but it’s up to him whether he feels comfortable using it. I can see why it was confusing for him the first time he did a wee in it since he was used to sitting on it and not doing anything but that’s why we then moved to the next stage of this approach which was to then associate the potty with going. I also looked at the Oh Crap book but again that wasn’t the approach for us. I did ask for input but not on the things you’ve given input on.
My little girl used to sit on the potty and even did a poo on it at 16 months old but since the novelty has worn off when I can tell she is doing a poo I say 'do you want to sit on the potty?' And she always says no. It's annoying but I'm just going to wait until she wants to use it again. Not sure what to suggest about your little one not liking nappies. May be change to a different brand Incase they are irritating him.