Not listening

So what do you parents do when your child simply just refuses to listen to ANYTHING . My daughter is 10 and I was window shopping going to buy her a smart watch . I asked my daughter if she liked it and wanted one and if she’d keep it on and not take it off . Then she asks if she can play the games on it during recess and I said no only on the bus and at home and car rides for the games . She flipped out , refused to do her chores and starting yelling and screaming saying I hate her and that I never let her do anything etc . Like then she argued with me and her dad about everything the rest of the night . Idk how much more we can take with this . Everything she’s asked to do , every time she don’t get her way she throws a fit like a damn 2 year old . What do we do? We’ve tried ignoring the tantrums . Spanking , grounding , etc and nothing I mean nothing . None of my other 2 were this bad . Mind you I understand she has adhd and we try to be more understanding with that but seriously something’s got to give
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Just means I need help as well. Adding a comment will send notifications on new comments. 🙏🏾✨️

On behalf of teachers everywhere, please do no let her where this to school

Man these kids these days be bad asf and don’t give a f*** fr . I mean I’m. It saying I was a saint growing up but once I got yelled at or my stuff taken away I stopped . My daughter keeps adding on til she’s grounded then somehow it’s my fault her life is miserable

She sounds spoiled, no offense. I would take all of her stuff out of her room, other than her bed & dresser. That’s what my MIL did with her kids when they were acting up.

Have family movie night and watch inside out 2. The puberty light may be flashing in your house... Hormonal changes can start happening before you notice physical changes so try to be patient and keep an open mind. She may be working with a new set of controls, so to speak, and the movie may give you some shared language around what's going on with her internally... Good luck though, being able to talk about it doesn't always make it easier. 🍀😬🤞

Okay so I don’t have a 10 year old so take my advice with a grain of salt as we haven’t reached that age yet! And I apologize in advance for my crunchy mom advice if it’s not something that floats your boat, I understand!! We have a 7yr old girl with ADHD but she does not need to be medicated. She’s not allowed to have artificial red dye (kids birthday parties are an exception or a small treat where it just a few pieces) through our own experimentation exposure to artificial red dye resulted in angry outbursts, unable to reason, caused self harm (kicking/stomping/hitting her head repeatedly) overexposure to blue dye also impacts our daughters mood where she will have a meltdown over trivial things she normally would never. We also limit her gaming and screen time, prioritize outdoor play with friends, quality time as a family, extra curriculars w/ exercise. We also do a vitamin D3 + K2 supplement during the winter to help with mood.

@Katie oh I’ve done that too .. I have shared custody with her grandpa . I’ve threatened to take her ass to juvie but he’s like “not my baby” but he’s always gone working so he don’t have to deal with what I do. I’ve taken her stuff away . I’ve had her phone and tablet for 3 weeks now , I was going to surprise her with a smart watch because she’s been good but since she can’t play it at school all hell breaks lose . Her grandpa definitely lets her get away with stuff and he says he’s never letting her go to juvie so she don’t think she will. I’m telling ya tho I’ve had it to the point I’ve had panic attacks over her shit . Idk what to do

@Bonny we’ve seen that . And I’ve dealt with her sisters hormonal changes already and she wasn’t this badly behaved with her mouth anyway . She was more into sending pics to strangers and got her shit taken away for almost a year for that .

@Kaina I’m 3 years in with her adhd stuff and I didn’t want to put her on medication but I wanted her to focus at school so I tried only doing it for school but her moods are something and it’s hard to monitor everything she eats and stuff cuz I’m not always around her . She goes to her grandpas a lot and she has school so that wouldn’t work . I try talking and reasoning and even paying her for chores except when I ground her for bad behavior . But she just idk , she don’t get it or she don’t care

https://www.instagram.com/p/DH9UUTzxow4/?igsh=MWkzMWNxZjNnbTZubA==

@Parker 又 so I'm curious, what consequences would you suggest?

My kids also aren't that old yet, and thankfully not as extreme at this age - but i get similar responses on a smaller scale from my 8yo! Do you get adequate time together as a family? Do you ask for her input when planning family things? Do you sit down and take time to talk over things you both see differently to understand each other's perspective?

@Parker 又 i find this response much more helpful that the first one. Thank you!!! :)

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@Ari I also have a pda profile which stands for “persistent demand avoidance” but is also known as (and preferred by most pda’rs) “pervasive drive for autonomy”. So ‘traditional’ means of communication don’t always work out very well for my brain, like the language people would assume to be normal and not harmful don’t land right in my brain . (It’s not always easy to explain but this video helps explain it a bit)

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