Traumatic birth

I have no memory of what happened, but everyone who came to visit me in the hospital said I should have just had a planned c-section. I pushed for almost 3 hours (after 27 hr labor) My daughter got stuck and had to be shoved out. I was shaking and vomiting uncontrollably during transition and blacked out after labor when they were wheeling me in the chair to go to the postpartum care. My husband had to carry the baby there while the nurse wheeled me (I have no memory of this). Please tell me it gets easier the second time around. My husband was never so scared in all his life and thought he was going to leave the hospital without me. I don’t want to put him through this again.

That is absolutely not true. My first birth was traumatic but my second was much better and so was recovery. I would def consider getting a doula, we make a huge difference in outcomes. But I can say even as a doula that this statement isn’t true but if you really want to have a good birth experience you can. But it won’t happen by chance.

Second births are generally much easier and faster than first, but there is no guarantee. Mine was very fast, but I know people that have had long, complicated second and third births. Your doctor should assess if you are high risk and work with you on a plan to mitigate any challenges you are likely to face.

My first was horrific to the point I had to have PTSD therapy and didn't have another baby for 16 years my second was so much better and I'm 7months pp and would happily have another

First birth was 18 years ago I tore quite badly and it did put me off having another but I didn't have my second until last year and I only had a episiotomy but was incredibly ill after with hypertension and then PND. If my partner and I were starting a family together, recent experience would stop me. We have 4 children between us and that's enough 😊

First pregnancy I had pre-eclampsia. I was induced and had back to back panic attacks during delivery. This increased my blood pressure even more and I had an emergency c-section. My son spent a week in NICU. Second pregnancy my OB recommended a plan c-section due to my prior experience. Blood pressure was under control this time, but I had severe panic attacks throughout the pregnancy. 2nd baby was born healthy. I’m still working through the trauma of both pregnancies. Physically everything was normal, but I feel guilty that my deteriorating mental health put my babies at risk. All this to say every pregnancy is different. Listen to your body and advocate for yourself. Had I spoken up more about my mental state during the first pregnancy, I would have had a planned c-section.

My 3rd delivery was the most traumatic bc it ended with me developing preeclampsia an hour or so AFTER my child was born. My first two I had at ages 21 and 26, my 3rd and last was at age 32 so not sure if age played a factor or not in that.