Depressed husband

I understand that not having his oldest has impacted him mentally . We have a daughter now together whom he puts in no effort to do anything with because he feels guilty that he didn’t get a chance to do this with his oldest . At that point it’s a choice to miss out on our daughter’s life . I obviously feel for him but those are things I can’t change . I’ve tried to be supportive and talk to him and be flexible with things but there’s only so much I can do . If I sit in depression with him then that’s unfair to me and our daughter . My daughter deserves a good memorable childhood too . I feel so bad that my husband can’t pull himself out of depression and that my daughter thinks this is the norm . I’m exhausted from being the only parent trying to show up for her but then also trying to take care of him too .

Show your support

This is so sad, I’m so sorry to you and your daughter. But I’m glad she had you to show up for her and hopefully dad doesn’t take too long to heal from his issues so he can also contribute to her upbringing as kids need both parents. Just keep showing up for her, she will still have a good childhood because of her mama. ❤️

This has recently been my child’s father. Now we are having a second, call it a happy accident. But like you said, it’s not fair to your daughter that because he can’t see his oldest, whatever the circumstances, to treat you and your child like that. She deserves the best. I am leaving him in a month. While I have been supportive for 6 years, I am taking from our children and myself and I won’t continue to.

@Hannah I find myself wondering if I’m doing more harm then good by staying . May I ask what made you realize you were done ?

I definitely have to put out there, there was other contributing factors. The relationship with bio mom is not good at all. She blames me for his inconsistency with his eldest after she took complete custody away from him which started it. But the depression did not and had not got better. With decent paying jobs being hard to come by, he got greedy and left one job thinking he’d make more elsewhere. Til it wasn’t enough and now he’s working what he can find. But he has lost motivation to go on dates, take our son out to spend time with him, etc. we don’t spend quality time with each other and it slowly has impacted the relationship

I tried to ask if it was because of that custody and I never want him to feel our children replaced his others but he chose to start life with you. While that includes other kids, you and your child should be a priority as well. He is a decent dad, but because of the depression, a shit partner. And I stayed because it never seemed like the right time but sadly, time is never on our side

Get him in therapy. He's wasting a beautiful second chance to be a dad.

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