What is wrong with me …

It sounds like post partum depression, please talk to your dr asap they can heml!!!

You said newest baby, so I’m assuming you’re in the trenches of postpartum. I’m here to tell you, it can be normal. I’ve heard so many moms explain what you just said. For me, I was in the same boat. I was very disassociated from my daughter, I was just going through the motions because life still went on. I did everything I was supposed to but didn’t feel much happiness. It’s okay to feel guilty, I felt extremely guilty when I realized what was happening. I feel guilty now when I think about it. But I’m here to say, you will come out of it. You will feel joy again. You will genuinely smile again. It’s coming mama. Be patient and be patient with yourself

Agree, partpartum depression. Happy mom=happy kids/family, so don't feel like it's selfish to get the help you need and deserve. The sooner you get help, the sooner everyone will feel better. Don't wait until your next appointment, call your doc today. ❤️

I feel that way and my kid is almost 4 now. It didn't start until he was around 2. it is mostly due to the resentment I feel towards my partner and not feeling like I can openly communicate my feelings to him and that I am a full-time work from home mom. It was the result of not being able to do everything. Instead of communicating I tried to just do everything work baby house work paying rent buying food grocery shopping potty training gentle parenting trying to find the correct way to teach, care for and show what a strong independent woman looks like. I got the promotion I had been working towards for 3 years finally and could no longer manage a toddler while actively working and meetings etc in the same room. My partner made no effort to step in and I felt like I shouldn't have to ask(already have a hard time accepting and asking for help) when I acknowledged that I physically and mentally could not do it all, I just shut down. Went on like this for months....

My partner finally saw me struggling. And told me he didn't think I ever knew what it was like to struggle. If I want something I make it happen. I was going through the days acting (believing) that everything was fine but I was screaming inside that I needed help until it just stopped. It's called "Mommy burnout" the term sounds silly but if u look it up it's a serious condition that if not recognized at first it can take years of therapy and stuff to feel again. What helped me is being able to drive somewhere and listen to any music I wanted as loud as I wanted. Music was a big part of my identity before I became a mom. I lost a lot of myself and I forgot who I was before I was "mom" take some time and do something that you used to love to do and just allow yourself to feel like you're free to be you and reintroduce yourself to yourself. Like I would say " hi my name is Jen" and respond with " hi Jen I'm mom" and when u are alone and free to be "Jen" you do it 100% and then when you go home you are able...

To be "mom" again. It may sound totally lame. But also if you have a new addition I agree you should tell your doctor asap. And they may suggest medication which is what they did with me but for me it was the simple things (like music and taking the time to remember that I am someone other than mom) that did the trick. But everyone is different and I am not a doctor. Just remember that there is hope and it won't be like this forever. Talk to your doctor and take some time to get to know what makes you YOU.

Sounds like postpartum rage & PPD. I had it too. Going to a therapist worked wonders for me 🩷. You might also benefit from learning about postpartum nutrition to help your hormones & mood. I regret not considering that stuff after my first baby.

I had PPD, too. It's okay to feel the way you do. But don't let it get too far. Speak to someone about it.

Ppd and many women experience it. I did. Speak with your dr as soon as you can.

@Jennifer Ramirez Music has always been so important to me and I would always get lost in it and now with kids I hardly ever listen to it because I feel I have to constantly “ listen” for the kids and sometimes all I want to do is get lost in some music . Weird how we use to do whatever we wanted and when we wanted and now we gotta coordinate times to go be alone to do it haha

IN regards to this post . Sounds like PPD yes. Mine came in waves this time with my second and I would go into a dark place . My last bad time I was crying in my damn closet with my shoes . You will come out of it and look back and be so thankful . We are our own worst enemy . Feeling guilty is normal. Especially when I look at my beautiful babies and think why on earth was I thinking those awful things , looking at their little smiles . I pray you heal and get better and find ways to cope and deal with it 🩷 I know for me sometimes staying at home and being in the house for extended days at a time will get me sometimes in a funk and a simple drive somewhere or walk will help me . Find your thing that works for you . Hugs !!

@Jennifer Ramirez wow girl! Bravo! You are spot on! I feel exactly this way! The hubs is a trucker and is home Monday-Friday. I have 3 kids. 15,10, and 4. (And a puppy) I don’t have a huge support system, no friends, it sucks. The music helps me too. And podcasts I like, I love make up and hair. Never have time to feel pretty anymore. We never go on dates or anywhere besides kids sports. Hubs doesn’t care about that. But I do. He’s a very simple man. Love him dearly. But I feel like I need something to look forward to without being mom. Ya know? Thanks for sharing!!!

@Tacy so this may sound totally lame but I joined a spicy book club. Its great because it's only once a month so I can totally commit to. Whatever book we vote to read that month always has an audio version so I can "read" while doing the dishes or in the bleachers during sports(headphones) and it's one day out of the month I get to dress up hair and make up and spend 3 hours with the girls who I met in November when the book club was created and drink champagne and eat cheeses and talk about the spicy silly book we spent the month reading. It has helped me so much. Just knowing that I have that day is so helpful.

That sounds really fun actually !!! Thanks Mama!!!!