in September 2024 Babies 🇬🇧

MIL winding me up

I feel like maybe im being a bit sensitive but my mother in law has been driving me mad recently and idk how to deal with it. For context she isn’t very good at listening to me when I try to set a boundary. I once had to tell her “no” like 5 times in a row because she wanted to know when my labour was starting so she could “sit outside my house in the car and wait for him to be born” (I was planning a home birth and tbf I didn’t want my mother in law to be the 1st person in there with me after our baby was born). She regularly just takes over, if we go for a walk she barges me out of the way and takes the pram. If im changing his nappy she does the same and tries to take over. Regularly shows up at the house without warning and walks in without knocking. Calls my baby her baby… that kind of thing. And so many more little things like this that I think are just starting to mount up. Yesterday me and my partner and our son went out for a meal with his mum and dad and as we sat down she said “I’ve brought *the baby* some food and a spoon just in case”. I said “in case of what”. She said “oh you know in case youd forgotten”. I assured her that I never forget my baby’s food and his bag was full of the stuff. She then proceeded get the food out of the bag and show us what she’d got… was just some Ella kitchen stuff…? I was just polite and nodded along. Idk if it’s cos of all the other stuff she’s been doing, but it kinda pissed me off. I feel like sometimes she doesn’t think im capable of looking after my son. And to say that I might have forgotten his food really rubbed me up the wrong way. All of this is making me not want to see her. Which I feel awful about because nothing she does is malicious, she’s just so thoughtless and takes over all the time.

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I would just like to add to this im a very chilled out person and im more than happy for family/friends to hold my child, play with him ect. It’s been commented a lot on how comfortable my baby is with other people. It’s just the constant taking over and never asking permission to do so that’s getting to me 😂

We had the same issue with some family members (on my side not my partners) and it was made very clear he is our baby and that is the end of it. I don't care if people agree with us or if they think they know better.....we may learn the hard way but at least it's our way x

It’s for your partner to stand up for you here. Does he know how you feel? He needs to be firm. Start locking the door first of all so she can’t just walk in 😂

I agree, he’s said he wants to talk to her about it and he agrees with me completely Im just always a bit nervous about setting boundaries with people but it needs to be done I think Hahaha I’ve started doing that😂 she’s taken to coming and looking through the living room window😂 Words need to be had with her don’t they 😂

I have the same with my MIL too, it drives me insane when she takes the pram off me, any little chance and she will take it and walk away really fast! She is lovely at times but can be overbearing most times and since having my baby it really shows. When I was pregnant she kept calling my baby “her baby”, which I was not happy about. She does a lot that annoys me and I will always bite my tongue with her as I am not a confrontational person. Speak to your partner about it, I have tried with mine and it has helped a bit.

@Shania actually made me feel so much better reading this knowing im not alone with these frustrations haha Overbearing is the perfect word! We’ve spoken about it and he’s really understanding which I agree helps Thank you for sharing your experience!

No problem! We’re both in the same boat 😅 Feel free to message me and we can share stories😂

Your feelings are completely valid and relatable. My MIL kept putting me down, made me feel like I'm not a good mother and I'm not doing enough even though I'm constantly exhausted doing so much with love for my baby. She will give unsolicited advices and acts like she is the one who takes care of my baby infront of my husband. She completely doesn't respect boundaries even she constantly watches how i treat my husband, she doesn't even let me yell at him if I'm frustrated about something. After a point it got too much so i had to confront her where she just playing victim and she said she did all that for my sake. She even started crying to my husband saying i disrespect her. After that she again started behaving the same. God she gets on my nerves. I can't wait to not be under the same roof as her.

@Keerthivasini that sounds incredibly difficult to deal with :( im so sorry you’re having to put up with her. She does not sound like a nice person to have to be around. Postpartum/motherhood is already hard enough to deal with and navigate without someone putting you down all the time. I don’t know about you, but even when I’m giving my all it never feels like enough and the mum guilt consumes me sometimes! So I bet it’s a real struggle to deal with that along with her breathing down your neck. Mother in laws are so often so overbearing 😭 At least we know that if our children have babies in the future, we won’t act that way Big hugs to you ❤️

Thank you all for letting me rant ladies, I feel much better and very heard ❤️

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