Second time mums bedtime routine

I have a 17 month old and a 6 month old. My partner works 3-11 so I’ve always done bedtimes. I do bath time during the day to save a bit of time. We all go up to the bedroom at around 7pm and I get my oldest into his pyjamas and then let him run about until his brother is dressed. I try to get them both having their bottle by 7.30. He’s quite an easy toddler to be fair so maybe I’m just lucky but I set him down in his cot with a bottle and 9/10 of the time he’ll self settle to sleep. I feed the baby while he’s doing that so if for some reason he doesn’t fall asleep the baby has usually drifted off and I’m able to put him in his cot. Most nights are smooth sailing and others are absolute hell 🤣

Following! I can’t do both alone.

Usually we divide and conquer but when I'm on my own the baby goes down first. They go in the bath together and we do teeth. My eldest then chooses a couple of picture books to look at in her room whilst I go in the baby's room to do a bottle. Sometimes I pop lullabies on her Tonie box. She occasionally pops her head in to kiss her brother on the head whilst he's drinking his milk but I keep the room dark and have the white noise on and gently shush her when she comes in so she understands it's a calm environment. When baby is down I then get into bed for storytime with my daughter.

I do bedtime on my own a fair bit due to my husband working shifts. My two are also almost 3 and 6 months and it’s not been fun! Baby was previously going to bed after toddler and toddler just refused to go to sleep, messed around and basically just caused pure carnage. This week I’ve changed it up as I was at my wits end with it… We now… - have dinner - go upstairs and bath baby together - put baby in pyjamas etc - come back down, toddler reads books or does a quiet/calm activity whilst I feed baby - baby goes to bed - then toddler bath, bedtime routine Its worked much better and both have been asleep by 7:30pm this week which is unheard of! I think it’s because a) toddler feels like the big girl going to bed later b) she gets 1:1 time and doesn’t feel jealous that she has to go to bed and baby is still up with mummy. It could all be a fluke and go to pot again by next week but this is what working at the moment. Sending love and patience - I’ve found it really tough!

Just to add I feel like the routine for bedtime with two changes constantly as baby’s needs are changing all the time as they grow. I was still trying to stick to what I was doing in the newborn days and it was all going horribly wrong. Annoying coz you think you’ve cracked it and then it doesn’t work again! 🤯

Thanks everyone! This is really helpful and also helpful to know I'm not the only one finding this hard. I'm having the same problem with my toddler going to bed before baby @Becca and just messing around, so it's helpful to know it's worked the other way round for you (or is at the moment). Might just need to start getting the baby up earlier in the morning to bring everything forward for her!