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@Huddy we have tried this. He even took her out today just him & her for most of the day and when they got back he picked the baby up and it all started again. Even when he gives me a kiss she try’s grabbing him away telling him no. Xx
1:1 time is really good! Perhaps during this time dad can have age appropriate conversations to reassure her. Times like this the older sibling may be feeling insecure or confused about the changes, feelings of being replaced. So I find having these conversations and setting boundaries are important(explaining that he can love both children). She seems to be struggling but it’s not fair for her to control the household dynamic through emotional outbursts as you also need the support and break
Also, every time he puts baby down from her request. She will feel that she has control. Saying something simple like “I’m with baby now and I love you both” then following through with changing nappy is a way forward to setting boundaries. Most likely she will throw a tantrum but that’s okay,.. all part of the adjusting Hope this helps, I hope you get some mommy time xx
Sounds like she is struggling with the change which is completely valid, try working with her and helping her understand it’s normal and okay to be jealous but baby is here so they both have to learn to share, your partner will need to be fair so he should tell his daughter he’s your baby’s daddy too and has to spend time with both
@Claudia Thank you. We have spoke to her about sharing and that he is the baby’s daddy too but she still says no. We have tried everything but doesn’t seem to be changing. She had said she hopes the baby “suffocates” with his blanket when he was a few weeks old which really hurt my feelings. She won’t even let me and my partner sit next to each other it’s just getting a bit much and I’m struggling as I’m doing everything on my own. I had a c-section hoping I would have the help and support but nope, I struggled badly while in alot of pain as anytime my partner would pick baby up she would tell him to give the baby to me. X
@Rebecca this sounds tough on all of you! That must have been so hard to hear anytime but let alone fresh post partum💔 have you told your partner how you feel? I hope with time and clear boundaries she comes around😔
She may be having a really hard time adjusting. It may be worth using positive role modelling or soical stories to help her with this big transition. Perhaps include her, in that she is now a big sister and daddy loves everyone equally/ sharing time equally. Dad also needs to be a little stern so you can have some time to yourself also x I put my teacher brain on so I hope this helps xx