Am I being an a hole?

My MIL keeps saying to my husband she doesn't feel she can talk to me. But it's because I will not stand for unsolicited advise. It started when she was new born with me exclusively pumping and why wouldn't I just use formula. We didn't do BLW because it terrifies me but she's now a year so using the safe start app I'm giving my daughter more whole foods. Today she nearly choked on banana because she's still terrible at knowing when too much is too much. So I get the she's only little still shouldn't she still have it mashed talk. Which I shut down quickly going through why we have moved into chopped up foods (we follow the 9 month advise for food, not even for a year old advise). And to top it all off I've decided to exclusively pump past a year. With the why don't I stop surely it's better for my mental health if I stop. Women I will stop when I want to stop. I've had to restrain myself from shouting at her with obscenities because she's my MIL. But am I being harsh. Am I being an asshole?

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No I don’t think you’re being an asshole. Unsolicited advice is annoying from anyone, especially if they are constantly saying you are doing something wrong. Guidance on raising children changes every few years, let alone the decades since your MIL had a child. You can raise your child how you want and the people in your life should respect that. If they disagree, there is a way to talk about it and educate themselves on why you’ve made that decision rather than being judgemental. Has your husband spoken to her and said that she needs to respect your parenting? I think grandparents tend to listen better when it comes from their own child

I'd probably ask your partner to have a word with her if possible. Ask him to let her know something along the lines of that you have researched today's reccomendations before making choices for your baby that work best for you and your baby what youre comfortable with. That while you appreciate 🫠 her experience that reccomendations change and if there is anything you would like advice on you would prefer to ask for it as needed rather than her always giving it unsolicited and making it feel like she's questioning and being udgemental of your parenting of your own child. Maybe that while you're happy to talk, these are not the topics you want to discuss. This is the rough message I had when I was ready to fight someone on this but also wanted to try not cause more friction 😅

At the end of the day it's your baby, you know best and you're the decision maker. But as her son your husband should really be sitting he down for the hard talk. You're not the a hole, it's hard not to be pissed if you're constantly receiving this. I really hope it can get better and she can start respecting your boundaries, it seems to be a really hard thing for the older generations 🙈

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