Baby not bonding with me

You’re doing good mama. Your baby is only 5 weeks old, their attachment has barely formed yet. Attachment develops over time with repeated interactions with a caregiver. You've barely had enough time for that to even take shape. Babies don't even show a preference for a specific caregiver until they're around 6 months old. That's when you will be able to notice some very early signs of attachment style. Don’t feel discouraged you will bond with your baby as the time goes on💕

It sounds like you’re being really hard on yourself!! I’m a FTM and gave up on breastfeeding after the first week. It was not only painful, but extremely stressful for me and the baby and I decided “hey, I don’t WANT to do this.” I’ve been exclusively pumping and recently even started supplementing with formula (wasted bottles of breast milk were causing me stress so mixing portions with formula now allows me to relax and not worry so much about if baby finishes his bottle). From what I can tell, my anxieties cause my baby to get worked up sometimes when he’s with me. They can sense your stress. My husband on the other hand is extremely relaxed and doesn’t worry about things the way I do, so sometimes our baby will be more calm with him. I’ve been working on it more and finding ways to calm myself, so now connecting with my baby is not an issue! Those first weeks after birth my emotions were all over the place. I still have bad days but now I’m having a lot of good ones too 💗

You will see the brighter side soon

Are you the one feeding him with the bottles? My baby didn’t latch for the first two weeks and I found it really helped if I was the one giving her the bottle. Watching someone else feed your baby whilst you pump is really a horrible feeling, so I totally feel you. In terms of the latch, did you try nipple sheilds? This is how I got mine to latch after two weeks. You’re doing an amazing job, pumping is so hard, and creates so much extra work. If you do want to try to get him to latch I really recommend getting an appointment with a specialist. In the end we went to multiple appointments and got so much advice before it finally worked. I don’t produce enough milk so we supplement with formula but still it’s nice to feed her what I can from the boob. Would also spare you having to pump so much!

Also in terms of the general bonding I would try skin to skin. You can feed him with the bottle skin to skin and then burp and cuddle him skin to skin ❤️

I mostly pump and take care of my 5 week old on my own. I’m not saying that’s what you have to do but if you are worried about not getting enough time with him/her then you can definitely do it. I bottle feed while I pump and pump every time she eats. I change her diaper set up my pump, warm up her bottle and then do it all at the same time and it honestly gets me through my pumping session being able to still hold her/feed her.

@Abbi what pump do you have that you can easily feed her while pumping? I really struggle with doing both at the same time.

Try not to be so hard on yourself! It is very early and anything can change. My first didn't latch until he was almost 3 months old. At that time I was pumping only 4 times a day and producing all but 1 or 2 bottles a day (that would be formula). When I wasn't pumping I tried to get all the snuggles I could, and if I went longer between pumping it was fine. My new one has been hit and miss on latching (more miss than hit) but we have decided to use formula at night to make life easier and reduce stress on my pumping.