Struggling

I’m really sorry I don’t have much in the way of advice but our first night home was very similar, he didn’t want to be put down at all and I had very little sleep. We just kept trying and he did eventually get some sleep in his cot not on me. Do you have a partner who can take over with rocking her a little to try and get her to go in the Moses basket or just to hold her for a bit so you can sleep in between a feed to give you a bit of rest. Maybe not the most helpful ideas but I know the first few nights we were just getting through them however we could to get some sleep then trying to get a nap in the following day when we could. Hope you manage to get some sleep x

Sorry I’m half asleep too I re read and can see you do have your partner. Also breastfeeding we struggled too, I have attended a couple of local groups and seen a lactation consultant who thinks my little one has a posterior tongue tie so worth seeing if there is someone in your area to speak to for advice with positions and how to get them going with it

Hey! Congratulations on the new arrival! This was very similar to my experience and now I'm 4 weeks pp so I just want to say, it does get better! Me and my husband had to take it in turns for the first week with who was awake for contact naps. We each took the baby to another room to let the other sleep. It's tough when you're ebf but it did mean I would get 2 hours sleep until baby needed feeding again. After about a week, he started to settle when he was swaddled. I also rolled up muslin cloths and tucked them in by his sides and underneath his legs in a horseshoe so he felt a bit more snug which seemed to work. I found a hot water bottle would help ease a bit of soreness with my boobs and making sure you use a good nipple cream. Hang in there, it does get easier x

We had the exact same struggles the first couple of days of being home! We found that making the moses basket more comfortable (putting a pillow as the base - it fits perfectly so it's safe), swaddling and a dummy really helped. Also a white noise machine. Please check the safe sleep guidelines tho as that's really important! And regarding the breastfeeding, I found the silver nipple cups from Amazon so helpful! I wear them constantly and they've really helped with the pain. I know it feels so tough and overwhelming at the minute but please be kind to yourself, it's only been a couple of days and i swear it'll get better ❤️

I heard it gets better, as I type mine is 2weeks old and laying on my chest currently. This is normal because they have been inside us for a long time so they feel safe when they are on you. I have a baby lounger which I noticed baby girl sleeps in a little bit better than a bedside crib which is spacious, I’m guessing it’s because it’s small and when they stretch the feel the surface which makes her reassured but then again she sleeps better on my chest. So you are not alone, you are not doing anything wrong hun.. I have been surviving on 3 hours of sleep for the past 2 weeks I usually give her to my mom at 3:30am who is staying here to help us and then sleep until 8am when my body wakes me up. Your self and partner can try that… rooting for u hun xx we are doing good.

For breastfeeding I would say try not to give up, massage your nipple to get it pointed so is easier for baby to latch. I remembered I cried so many times when I was trying to figure it out the first few days. Also you can use hot water compress, deep a small towel into hot water and massage your breast it helps a lot and make your milk run out, feels like it disolves it from been hard and easy flow, also it’s a relief remedy. This is what I have done as a 2 week old first time mom and it’s all been working… xx

Breastfeeding is tough until you find your rhythm. There’s been some good suggestions from the other mums here. I found the silver nipple cups a life saver with my first baby. Also mam breast compresses and hydrogel breast disks to soothe sore nipples, along with 2 hot showers every day. With sleep you could try shifts with your partner (so the my first I would go up to bed early, and sleep from 8pm to 11pm, so I knew I would get 3 uninterrupted hours to start the night). With my 2nd (2 weeks old) I’m cosleeping, following all the safe sleep guidance, and it’s letting me get a lot more sleep, so might be worth trying if you feel comfortable with that. And remember that you’re amazing! Pregnancy and birth is so draining, and then you have a newborn to look after, and it’s a lot. But it will get easier 😊

Congratulations on the arrival of your little one. With my first we had the same issue with the Moses basket until we tried swaddling with a large muslin cloth and I would heat up a wheat pillow put it into the Moses basket for a minute and then remove it so the basket felt warm for her and then would place her into it with some white noise too. This seemed to work and she would settle better. Worth a try maybe- it does get easier I promise- you’re doing amazing x

Congratulations on the birth of your baby! We’re just over a week in and it honestly does get better. Newborns just want to be held close and snuggled, which isn’t easy especially when you’re recovering from birth. I also found feeding difficult in the first few days. Once your milk comes in, it gets much easier and I found it settled our boy more. We’re in a routine of feed, little back massage, burp, change, feed from other nipple, little burp then a big cuddle when he’s swaddled. You’ll find your own way but regardless, you’re doing amazing already x

Skin to skin is also a game changer

This was our first few nights too. We found lining where little one sleeps with a T-shirt you’ve had on all day, make sure it’s tight around the mattress. I’d read about the love to dream swaddles and thought it was a fad but was desperate so ordered one, best thing ever!! My little girl will sleep now and only wake up for feeds. She didn’t like swaddles where her hands were down. Skin on skin! If you can, lay little one on you in their nappy and you with no top on. Even better if you can get partner to supervise, snuggle up on the bed. We did shifts when she was really Unsettled so we could get some proper sleep. This helped us too xx

@Zoe hey I had a midwife mention my son may have a posterior tongue tie and then didn’t really say any more. Did they say what to do for you?

@Kelly so we have been referred to the hospital to have it checked properly as I believe they will only do something if it’s above a certain score… but it was the lactation person who has sent the referral for us. Not sure how it works in other areas though. Sorry not much help!

I just want to jump on and say that there’s SO much pressure to breast feed. It is absolutely one of the hardest things about having a baby in the beginning. If it’s causing you too much discomfort or mentally it’s too much then just remember a fed baby is best. You need to think about you in all of this too. Hope you’re ok xx

Congratulations! Im so sorry to hear you’re struggling. We were in hospital for 5 days as our baby was small, had mucus and so wasn’t eating, but needed to eat to get the mucus up - it was a vicious circle! She wouldn’t stay awake on the breast despite the trick of stripping her etc. As soon as we got home (we weren’t actually advised to go) I began expressing milk and we bottle fed her it every 3 hours without fail. Started 60ml (she is 6lbs) and worked up to 90ml per feed. She got stronger and to our surprise returned to breastfeeding! She had kept that up since and gained weight. In terms of sleeping, she too likes to be on me or my partner all of the time and so that bit is difficult. Typically I’ll do the nights and he’ll take over at 6am so I can get a couple of hours sleep til 9. Is that an option for you? If not I’d do your best to…sleep when the baby sleeps 🫠 It will get easier! The trenches are not for the faint hearted xxx