Is my partners baby mum weird?

To me sounds as if shes jealous

It sounds like it started nice but now is definitely crossing the line. The fact that you MIL is telling you that too I would be wary as MIL obviously knows what BM is like regarding her son/your partner.

It may be abit weird but her being close to his family isn’t necessarily a bad thing since it is her child’s family too. But I’d definitely be careful she sounds very jealous x

If she were your friend and not his children's mom, would you still feel the same? It's ok to establish boundaries if you're uncomfortable, but also it is totally okay for her to be jealous. She isn't doing anything disingenuous.

I think she could be worried about her own children tbh. She wants to involve herself and her kids more to ensure her kids don't get pushed out of their dads life.

@Tink yes exactly, at first I thought oh its nice that's she's being nice rather than horrible but now that the MIL said to be careful and that she's reckons she'll cause chaos once baby is here, makes me worry a lot. Especially now that I'm nearing 8 months pregnant, she's messaging my other half constantly and expecting so much from him. Baring in mind when she found out about the pregnancy she wasn't happy at all and said that my other half is going to forget about his kids once ours arrives (he loves his kids to death and would never do that). I just don't want chaos and jealously after I deliver my baby, I want a peaceful post partum and not have to deal with a jealous baby mum or having her involved in it really... 😔

@Monét Well it's hard to picture it since I'd never be friends with someone like that, herself and myself are two opposites and also have 2 different parenting styles. I haven't been close with her ever and I just find it weird coming into her home to use her toilet and she's rubbing up my belly. My closest friend doesn't even touch my belly lol. I'm just not sure how to put in boundaries or what to even say or what to get my partner to say without sounding harsh to her. I totally understand the jealousy since my other half left her, but he also left her a long time ago and she's in a long term relationship herself... Ahh I'm just lost, emotional and pregnant 😅

@Rheo yes this I completely understand too as they're all one big family and always will be. But it's just been since the pregnancy that's she's trying to sort of get in. The other day she made a facebook group chat with my other halves sisters and mum and named it "(his surname) ladies".... shes been trying to have convos in the chat with them... Baring in mind they're divorced for a while now. Just makes me feel a bit left out because if I were to marry him, I'd be taking on his last name and I'd feel a bit like a side piece lol. My partner thinks it's weird but doesn't want to cause further issues as he just wants what's best for his kids

It’s weird that she was saying to you about your love life dying down after the baby, that’s a huge overstep right there. She does sound jealous and I would imagine things aren’t as happy with her long term partner and she maybe still pines for her ex (your partner). If you don’t want her at the hospital then just say no and she/the kids can meet baby later at your home. Google “grey rock method” and use it on her. Keep civil but aloof. Don’t let her get to you.

Personally, I wouldn't want my partners children's mother (I'm sorry I'm, baby mama/daddy sounds.. anyway) being friendly/ texting me at all. She sounds jealous. I couldn't deal with this.

You missed the point of my question a teeny bit, but I gather your personal friendships have a little more boundaries. People will continue to do what you allow them to do. Some ways you can set boundaries: •Your partner can stop answering things that she wouldn't have asked before, or that do not have to do with the children. •You can state general rules and expectations, that this person and this person will be at the hospital and no one else. That way it isn't targeted towards her. •When she starts speaking about things like your relationship, or overstepping your personal space, make her know you're uncomfortable. I rather not talk about this or I don't like when my belly is touched. I've told my exes new wife in many ways what we can and can't talk about with each other, that we can be friendly and share a laugh, but our lives are separate and the kid is the center and focus.

Could be she's worried about her other kids, not necessarily jealous, just worried about the dynamic for her kids and that he may not have a lot of time for their kids once the baby comes. As someone who is divorcing and he's in a relationship already, that's what I would be worried about. But if your gut is worried, just make sure you trust it.

Yeah that’s very tough and she’s clearly just jealous that you’re both having a baby now too. I’d just try ignore her and not entertain it and hopefully your partner does the same. I understand he has to be civil and friendly for the sake of their child but he shouldn’t entertain her eagerness x

She might be jealous but she also might want to make things works for her kids having a good relationship with you and his new siblings. She may just be happy and share things (I am that kind of ex. Super happy for the next move and genuinely want things to be cool). If you feel uncomfortable try to talk with her. That's something NOONE likes to ear but if he has a baby before he is always gonna be linked with her and so will you. It's worth to make the things works well.

Coming with the kids at the hospital would be a big no for me. You will need to have the full support and attention from your partner and as much quiet and rest as possible and bring kids there or even just the BM is a bad idea and she surely knows that.

The fact that the MIL is saying something… cmon now