Anxiety about going back to work

I’m so anxious about going back to work to the point I’m having panic attacks, I don’t want to leave my baby. I have no one I fully trust to leave my baby with, my mum insists she will keep her for me but she does not listen to a word I say in regards to her routine and what she needs, we’ve had a couple trial days and it’s been a disaster but “she knows best”. I genuinely feel like she’ll ruin the routine we’ve worked so hard to get into. Childcare is a no no as it’s too expensive, so I just don’t know what to do. Apart from all of that I just don’t know how I’ll cope leaving her, it’s stressing me out so much to the point it’s leaving me distraught at times 😭