Can I ignore BD calls?

My Bd and I can barely have a conversation these days. He says I’m disrespectful because I interrupt him when he speaks which he thinks justifies him to be verbally abusive. I dont say anything spiteful to him just at times I talk over him to express myself. He verbally attacks my appearance, character, says I am replaceable and a bad role model, he says spiteful things about my family etc etc. I’ve told him for years how it is destroying my mental health but it’s just getting worse. Even if I block him during an argument I always open up communication again as baby is too young to communicate with him herself. We have no agreement for him to see the baby as he refuses to watch her alone-he always demand that I travel to him and stay with him for days/weeks (he gets annoyed whenever I have to go back home and tells my I’m a bad mum for taking his baby away from him). I don’t want to have to keep him blocked because he has no access to her otherwise but I also can’t get him to stop being verbally abusive and I can’t take it anymore. What should I do?

Show your support

I feel like you should communicate via a third party like a friend or family member & only communicate about contact - if he can’t come and collect his child sometimes then he doesn’t get to see her 🤷‍♀️

that’s abuse i got a molestation order against mine. Keep every receipt of the conversation. Only texts if you can

Message me if you want to know how

@Cici Jay thank you. I don’t think I want to do that. I want her to be around her dad I just don’t want any more verbal and physical abuse

Mine still sees her through a court order he just has no contact with me. I must really tell you it got a lot worse as she grew

if he’s physically abusing you take him to court

@SaKaiya I said the same thing, but i think she thinks it stops him seeing his child. They are completely separate matters in the eyes of the law as long as he’s not abusing the child as well

@Cici Jay exactly he can see the child he can do supervise visitation or whatever the court orders

@SaKaiya absolutely that’s the case for me. It worked out really well for me

Yea you have no obligations to speak to him unless court ordered. Protect your peace. Even if it's short lived. He might tell you you "have" to but nope he's wrong about that. I refuse all phone calls w mine. We only text. And I have his texts restricted so I don't even know when he texts me, only if I open it. Which I do every few days. Then I either respond w a day I'll give him a visit or say yep the baby is doing fine. Otherwise you gotta just ignore whatever dude is saying at you. Eventually it dies down to being less but at first he will ramp it up and be really mad probs. If he threatens you at least it will be in writing

He’s exhibiting classic narcissistic behavior. You trying to put up boundaries has him trying to guilt trip you by claiming you’re a bad mom any time you try to bring her back to your house. What should you do? Cut ties with him. Block him everywhere. File for child support. She won’t know she’s missing out for many years. By then, I am sure you will have made the right choice and found a man worthy of adopting her. Her dad isn’t it. He will consistently make you feel bad for choosing your happiness & peace over having a family unit. Many narcissistic people do that. They try to make you feel bad about putting yourself before them. Don’t allow that anymore.

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌