Husband stitch 😡

I had my daughter may 2018 and had a lot of stitches! The day after I come home my midwife checked my stitches and I remember her brushing the conversation off very quickly with a ‘all looks ok’ and moved on! I then remember still feeling pain down below with my stitches for a while so asked my partner to check them - see if it could have been inflamed or anything and he was surprised at what he’d seen! This is when I heard about the husband stitch (somehow he knew about it, I had no idea!!) after a little google and a mirror check myself we came to the conclusion that I’d been given the dreadful stitch up! Roll on 6 months later, we braved sex for the first time (I was ridiculously nervous!) and it hurt like no other!!! I bled and felt like I’d given birth again! So we waited a little longer. We tried a few times and still bleeding and pain (I kept this a secret from my partner to begin with because I hate making a fuss!) fast forward to now, our daughter turning 3 in a matter of months, we’ve not had sex in well over a year because it terrifies me!!! I have masturbated a few times so I could attempt things at my own pace and it’s the same conclusion, painful and bleeding. I don’t know what I can do about it at this point?? The thought of sex fills me with dread but also the thought of no sex for even longer than what we’ve already done also fills me with dread!! I really hope that someone is able to help me move on from this!