SAHM vs Working Part Time

I worked from 16 up until our daughter was born (28). She is 3 now and started nursery part time, which I now want something part time ideally. Me personally I have loved watching her grow (no matter how mentally hard it’s been). Do what you think is best though :) no one can really tell you what is best x

Maybe if you can afford it wait to go back to work full time as babies need to be with their main caregiver for as long as possible, also I wouldn’t want my child in nursery until he’s verbal to some extent. You could always return to work when your LO is a bit older. However I know how hard it is being a SAHM and sometimes you just need a job for yourself not the money so maybe consider working part time maybe just a few mornings or a couple of days? You can use the childcare hours on ‘Grandparents Childcare Credits’ if you have anyone that could take care of baby? I’d say go with your gut, what sounds more appealing, then work out the details later. You’ve got to make sure it’s what YOU want as well as what works for your family x

It depends what your job is I guess because mine is my career so I was quite determined to return to work. My husband did mention the fact I didn't have to which is great but I really wanted to. I work three long days a week and it's a great balance because I get to progress my career still but also spend time with our little one. Also sending him to nursery has been fantastic for his progression and he really enjoys going. There's no right or wrong answer, it completely depends on your circumstances x

Did you not talk about this before having the kiddo? I personally would go potty being at home 24/7. I'm coming to the end of a year or so of mat leave. I could do another year but not more. I work 4 days a week and while I'd rather work 3, it works for our family. How long would you intend to stay home? What are your plans when your child starts school? Have you had the baby yet? The newborn days I find really tough but at least they stay in one place and are snuggly. Once they can walk and start talking they benefit from much more stimulation which I find a bit overwhelming. Other people I'm sure are really good at that part but I'm not. At least not all day, every day. I'm a better parent on the days I have them and in the evenings because I have that break to work in the career I adore and worked hard for. Another thing worth bearing in mind is that you won't qualify for another round of maternity pay if you've not worked in between children so consider that if you want more.

I agree it depends on what your job is, how you feel about not working, and how hard it would be to go back after a break. I went to university for 7 years for my career and it would be very hard to return if I had a break so I chose to take the maximum maternity leave possible (14 months in my case) and then return at 2.5 days a week so I am still her main care giver but she goes to ‘play’ at either nursery or nanny’s for 2.5 days a week 9-3ish which for us was the perfect mix. However, if I had a job that wasn’t a career and I didn’t mind losing then I probably would have chosen to stay home entirely x

@Sophia that’s probably what I would do if we decided on me not returning to work. I wouldn’t be going back full time regardless after mat leave is over but would still be 3 days a week. And I don’t want my mum to turn into a babysitter for us which is why I was looking at the nursery option even one of the days but my husband has now suggested this and it’s really got me thinking it would be amazing to have the opportunity x

@Chloe so we could afford it, I just always thought I’d return to work part time after my May leave. My work currently wouldn’t just allow a few mornings or couple of days, it would be 3 days minimum so just trying to weigh it up. My parents would be looking after the baby when I was back to work but I don’t want them to become babysitters if you get me. It’s such a hard decision x

@Kirsty yeah I have worked in my current job since I was 18 and worked my way up to where I am now so if I didn’t go back after my 9-12 months leave, they couldn’t hold my job open. 3 days would’ve been my plan if I decide to go back. That’s great to hear about nursery as I’ve always been a bit unsure of it x

@Caroline no we didn’t talk about it. We were TTC for almost 3 years so these chats have only started now we are actually expecting. I’m not due until September and he has only spoken to me about this last night so I haven’t even thought any further, I was just looking for some advice from people. We only plan on having one baby so that part wouldn’t be an issue for us. I just wanted to weigh up the pros and cons of being a SAHM or working part time

@Jess yeah that’s the thing playing in my head. I’ve worked in my current job since I was 18 and have worked my way up to where I am now so it would be a huge decision to just walk away but on the other side, I’m never going to get this time back with my baby so it’s such a hard decision x

It really is and it’s such a personal decision too, you just need to work out what is right for you. Occasionally I wish I’d stayed home full time with my daughter because we have the most amazing time on my days off but in general I’m glad I made the choice I did and it’s meant that on the days we’re together I am 100% focussed on my daughter so I don’t work/go on my phone/clean etc… we just do what she wants to do which I love and she has really benefited in some ways from the bit of time she spends at nursery BUT that decision is different for everyone, one of my best mum friends decided to quit her job and stay home and you might decide that that’s what’s right for you. There’s no right or wrong x

For me balance is really important, I personally do want a career and I do want my LO to have a mix being around different people. I’m aiming for my LO to be in nursery 3 days a week, 2 days with my parents. I’m fortunate enough to be able to work from home 2 days a week. Our babies are a massive part of our lives but we are also our own persons too. I think you need to think about what you want for your own life too. Compromise and sacrifice come with having children but you need to figure what kind of compromise would still keep you happy and your family ❤️

That’s amazing that your husband wants to provide you with that. Personally, my identity at work and those relationships are so important to me and my mental health. I went back to work when my first was 10 months, and when my second was two months (only from home until she started nursery at six months). I would say you do what feels right for you! I love the balance of two/three days working (I’m a consultant so I can make my schedule flexible), and then three days just me and my kids, and two days at the weekend as a family. It works for me. What works for you will be different. Happy mum, happy baby 👍

So I was working full time in a high-pressure job before my daughter was born. I originally didn’t think that I would be able to tolerate being a SAHM for long as I thought I’d get bored but after she was born I found that being a mom became much more important to me than my job was. I was also fortunately in a position that I wasn’t forced to go back to work unless I wanted to and my hubby was also 100% on board with me staying home to raise our daughter. My girl is 16 months now, I’m planning on staying home with her until she turns 2 and then working part time again. I feel it’s a blessing to be home with my LO, it’s hard work in its own way but it sets up your child to have strong and healthy attachments which is super important for their emotional health and development. This is my experience, but I understand that everyone will have their own preferences and needs. I’d say, wait and see how you feel once your little one gets here. Xx

What do you want to do? If you’re ok with that, then amazing! Find yourself a hobby or side business (I started with taxes and bookkeeping as a hobby and wound up replacing my FT x3 and my background was accounting)… it really came in handy when I got pregnant and not that I have my son. Maybe even get involved with community or other things with the baby! It’ll fill your schedule, and maybe even give time to grow with your beautiful baby! If you’re not sure then just have that convo with your husband! Communication is so important, maybe he can even help you work through your uncertainties!