Teenage Pains

Hi 👋 used to be a teen that would break rules, talk back, and fought my parents before .. not proud of it but I did grow out of it and I’m still close with my parents till this day! I’m 24 currently but what I wish my parents would’ve done back then was just sit down and talk to me calmly .. no judgements at all or criticizing at all that’s what triggered my anger, and I wish they would’ve just communicate with me on what is making me upset and what can they do to help me atleast get my needs aka (hanging out w friends, normalizing depression, anxiety and providing me a therapist etc.) to meet each other in the middle basically.. but they wouldn’t listen or care about my emotions at all bc they would want it always their way and they didn’t believe in medications for my depression, anger, anxiety etc.. bc they “don’t believe in that” so just sitting down with your teen and communicating with each other would probably help! But just don’t criticize bc it’ll trigger them, just comfort❤️

Hope I helped 😭❤️🫶🏼✨ good luck!!

Thank you Ally… I appreciate you telling me this. It brings so much peace that I am not alone in this. I am struggling to understand but I am praying that I will pass this soon. Maybe if they just understand that there are rules in life that you must follow in order to live a good life. I just don’t want them to make the same mistake I did.

@Bernadette Banaria my mom said those exact words.. trust me😭. I feel bad for putting her through that as well.. but just like I said try to meet each other in the middle ! I’m not sure what your teens are struggling with so I don’t have much to say but just comfort them and try communicating with them when they do something bad like it hurts you and triggers your emotions and the only thing you want is just have a peace in mind with each other!! If they want to stay out late then just give you their locations on just in case anything happens.. or to give you a call or text where they’re going etc. so you don’t have anxiety for their safety.. my mom threatened to take my phone away and I literally told her to do it bc I will still go out and not tell her where I’m going and yah… it was just non stop bumping heads😭😭 I didn’t know I was in the wrong most of the time. But it’s a phase and trust me! Me and my mom are close now and I enjoy her company🤞🏼

I can relate, I too have teens and understand how difficult this stage is. Not just rules they won’t follow but simple chores like bring plates and rubbish out of your rooms, laundry baskets to wash your clothes. Mine are 14 and 16. I was so close with my daughter who is 14 and now she hardly speaks to me. She is very closed off and doesn’t want to talk or spend time with me. I just keep trying to suggest spending time together but she doesn’t want to, even suggested therapy but she refuses. She is not getting on well at school and her group of friends are not the best influence. I hope that your teens and mine turn a corner soon.

Hello! I as well was a teen like this. I back talked my mom, I didn’t listen to her rules, I skipped school, etc.. as Ally mentioned, I really just wish my mom would have been closer with me & understood me more. We know that all our parents want is the best for us, but all teens go through a phase where they will do anything to fit in because they are confused on who they should be or who they are supposed to be. Trusting your kids & giving them their space but still being there for them when they need you is a major key. Just let them know that no matter what happens & no matter what mistakes they make that they can always call you for help & you will be there! Be a parent but also be a listening ear & a friend when they need it as well. I really needed that from my mom as a teenage girl & I think if she would have been that for me that I wouldn’t have made a lot of the choices that I did. I hope things get better for you & your babes 🩷

Mine is 14.Thank goodness she is not like me,lol.She is obviously still a teenager and has her moments.But she is not rude 2 me or anything like that.The problem is that she acts like depres most of the time. Even if she is not like that but I believe this is because of the hormones. I grew up in chaos of environmental, so my home now is pretty peaceful, or at least I tried my best to be like that. Not arguing, not yelling, watch movies, or series together.I listen 2 the drama's school. And she have chores, and I pay £1 each.So, that is a little bit of motivation 🤣just sit with them or go to their bedroom and ask them, "Are you ok? How was school?just checking to see if you are fine? Some words like that every day can change their mind too. Pls make sure you are emotionally able for your kids, too. Sometimes, we can't see ourselves, but we make a lot of mistakes and don't even realise those mistakes affect our kids badly.Like other mums have said, my mum used to be very strict and with

verbal aggressive behaviour. She thought she was always right, plus my step dad was an alcoholic. I wish you all the best, I know this stage is not easy. But, you can do it, mum! 😚🤗

lol because these new kids are different. I don’t condone hitting but these new kids will make you have to put them on their shit to understand I am your mother not your friend love

@Aryyy you ain't lying Lol. I tell my oldest that all the time that we are not friends, I am your parent. We can be friends when you're an adult and living on your own and taking care of your responsibilities. But parents have to be ok with not being "liked" by their teens. I set rules and expectations. And there are consequences if they don't follow through that's it. They may not like like me at the time. But I do it because I love them. I didn't always like my parents' rules and would get mad at them, but now I get it as an adult and parent.

I’m not really sure but I would think that because they are so bombarded with media and popular culture they think they know what’s up…you can try and empathize with them and give them as much loving direction as you can while setting firm boundaries but all in all you can’t make them listen and follow rules, try to get to the root cause of their disobedience as well I believe that spirituality a relationship with God is a good foundation because you see deeper into what is going on with the world and a lot of these musicians and Hollywood are evil and want to influence the younger generation but if you don’t have a spirituality maybe based on your values you can just guide them and have heart to heart talk with them about how the world really is and it’s not that you don’t want them to have fun but show them what really happens to teenagers and young kids that are doing the wrong things that it’s for their safety and development to follow safety maybe seek family counseling as well

@Melanie exactly and I had them as teens we were young as ever with the first set and like I said the days u hope I die and hate me I know I’m doing my job right lmao and that you are safe 😂😂😂😂😂☠️

@Ale I would always check on them or how their day went. My son who is 15 told me last night, he knows everything. More than me 😂 so this morning, I change the WiFi password & suspended his phone. Now let’s see how long this will last coz he didn’t wanna turn in all his devices & he knows everything.

Here’s the thing… I am not a perfect parent. I have my faults too… but to disrespect me with your words & talking back to about respect goes both ways is out of control to me when you are my teenage child. Everything is always my fault as I set the ground rules. My husband don’t discipline them & I’ve asked him multiple times to help me. He says, just talk to them & things will be okay. Ah.. no coz I’ve done that too many times & they continue to lie, disrespect, they don’t do chores, none whatsoever. So I gave up.. I will not do anything in their rooms or anything anymore.

I have been a teenage myself but that feels like a different era. 😵‍💫 my daughter is 14! And the dreaded 14-15-16 is the most painful it seems. 😑😑

She’s always in her room , speaks 2 sentences max, flips out at almost anyone and anything. I actually don’t know what to do. 😑😑

@Nazy It is so hard, I was an only child and very different, I agree when you say it’s a different era to now. I was respectful and an obedient child. I hope these teen years pass quickly! X

@Elizabeth guess what I was too an only child! Divorced parents 😵‍💫 I was super careful and respectful and caring for my mother even though my hormones were all over the place. But I knew what behavior was wrong. Never gave back answers to my mum or argued with her. Because at that time I thought it was us against the world. And we were everything to each other.

@Nazy I appreciated everything even though I didn’t have much. I turned 16 and got a job to try and ease the pressure off my mum. I think our kids have everything and the don’t value it. X