Venting, idk

So my husband used to be a sense of a safe space for me especially with my anxiety but lately I’m realizing over the past two years he might actually be more triggering to it. It’ll take me forever to go over every detail but long story short I’m not in a good place mentally. I’ve been turned off from him since our son was born (I’m fine while we’re having sex but never in the mood). At times I feel like he wants to control aspects of my life or wants me to listen to everything he says. If I do something he doesn’t like it’s a big deal and is thrown back in my face but let him do something similar or worse and he’ll feel attacked when it is brought up. He barely makes an effort with my family and some of them have started to feel the hesitation towards them. Meanwhile I’ve accepted his family even after his mom has hurt or frustrated me with her actions & words. I’m sorry this is long and I’m really not sure what I’m expecting out of this I just needed to get some of it out. I’m by no means perfect as I’ve started cheating as I guess an escape and I don’t really feel guilty about it. Thank you if you’ve read this far, again idk what response I’m looking for just needed to get this out.

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Oh man that sounds so difficult have you tried couples therapy? Have you brought it up to him? Maybe you guys need a break from responsibilities?

It’s a lot ❤️ know that you’re not alone in these feelings. It might help trying to find a way to express them to your partner, coming from a place of what kind of support you need and why it’s been so hard. My husband has a hard time understanding anxiety, it’s just a feeling not everyone gets. I find taking some time for me, even if it’s just a walk, calling someone I can vent, or taking a long shower. After I have some space I can some times express how I feel and what I need a bit better. In the meantime sending a hug your way!

@Autumn I don’t think he’ll do couples therapy. He barely did anger management before I met him. Idk if the break will really happen but sounds nice

@Rebecca when I try to express about the family stuff it usually just leaves us both more frustrated or upset than anything. I try to do some those things but easier said than done for the calls portion because I’m usually in class during the day and when I’m not my husband is sleeping because he works nights so potential he would hear the conversation. Thank you for the hug ❤️

For sure, always easier said than done ❤️ Just think about what you would want things to look like if they were better and what could help get you there. People will have a million ways to try to help, but you have to first know what outcome you want and be willing to help yourself get there- or allow others too.

@Rebecca thank you, yea lots of uncertainty right now. Been getting a lot of signs pointing me in one direction but I’m so unsure of what I want to do or how to approach things

Sending a note of solidarity as this sounds like my situation.

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