Just needed to vent.. 🙄🤦🏽‍♀️

My son is turning 4 on Tuesday. My husband and I decided to not do a birthday party for him this year because of the headache it all comes with plus it’s not like he’s in daycare or school making friends. 🤷🏽‍♀️ We are taking him out to celebrate HIS day on Tuesday! Well we told my MIL and I could tell she wasn’t too happy (she’s all about the birthday parties), so she decided “well I’ll probably do something for him here” So I asked Friday what her plan was and she wasn’t sure, so then all of a sudden I get a text Saturday morning saying “Doing his party Sunday at 6pm and everyone knows” …so I begin to ask if I needed to grab the cake, ice cream or dinner.. she then proceeded to tell me yes on the cake and ice cream and that the plan was to do pizzas. BUT I SAID I WASN’T DOING A BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR THIS EXACT REASONING of having to buy a cake, ice cream and dinner for everyone. 🙄🤦🏽‍♀️😭 UGHHHH.
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Ugh I would be so annoyed 😒. Any chance you can tell her you’re only buying one of those things since this isn’t actually your party and you decided you weren’t throwing a party to avoid this?

@Carmen My husband was talking to his father and I guess his dad said he understands and that he’s grabbing the pizzas and we will grab the ice cream cake, but had I not asked about if us needing to grab everything, it’s like she was assuming we were buying it all.

Wait you offered to get cake, ice cream, or dinner? And she took you up on it? She can’t read your mind… if funds are short then tell her and come up with something that works for everyone. (Maybe a potluck situation or something) I imagine she just wants to do something nice for the little one

Tell her you’re not responsible for picking up the tab on her gathering, she’ll get the hint.

Why did you offer to do anything if you didn’t want to? It seems like it was her idea, if it were me I would have just shown up at 6pm for all she has planned 🤷🏾‍♀️

I would have kept so quiet about getting anything 🙈as the party was solely her idea. But I also understand it’s your son and you may want to add some thing to the table

I believe there was no need for you to ask what you should bring. From your message, it seems you took it upon yourself to offer the cake, ice cream, or dinner once you learned the party was on Sunday. Maybe you feeling guilty for not hosting the party?…which may have led to these mixed messages. As a parent of two kids, I can assure you that the best kind of celebration for them is quality time spent with their parents. A large crowd or a chaotic gathering of children isn’t necessary; in fact, it often distracts from what truly matters. At four years old, what children need most is to be surrounded by love and the undivided attention of their parents—not balloons, fancy cakes, or hired entertainment. I’m sure you see how much your kids thrive when you’re fully present with them, so please don’t feel guilty. Your love and attention are what make the day truly special!

I think she probably wouldn’t have asked she just took you up on your offer and assumed you didn’t want to do a new party cos of the logistics/hassle of arranging rather than funds. I’m an overthinker though so probably would have offered and been frustrated when she said yes also 😅

Don’t offer to pick up things you’re not wanting to actually pick up. Simple as that. I wouldn’t have said anything except “okay! See ya at 6!” You said YOU weren’t doing a party but that leaves it open for her to do one for him. If she wants to throw him a party let her and she can take care of all the food and whatnot, don’t offer anything next time and just show up at the time she said.

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